5/27/2011 01:05:00 AM
Friday, May 27, 2011
im not gonna let it knock me down again.
wish i could go to a place like that right now ^ lie on the grass and just stare. stare at nothing but the stars in the sky.
recently, we had a step down ceremony for our taekwando seniors and never thought that the feeling would come back when we would have to see our seniors step down again as they leave you with the responsibility of filling their shoes. it feels like red cross all over again, sigh. really gonna miss them.
mid years actually start today and im still awake. bahh. should most probably go to sleep now so, nights.
can't believe im posting this here but..
Dear you, whom I’ve just met.
You will probably never get to see this little note but here goes.
Thanks for making me smile so happily after such a long time. Its been a while since ive smiled this genuinely. Every morning im waking up with not a single temptation of falling back to bed but yet with an anxiety to face the day, looking forward to what might be happening next. No matter how late I may have slept the day before, there will always be a shock of energy running through my veins. It pushes me on because you gave me that push, that happiness to carry on.
It sounds rushed and strange especially with our recent proper acknowledgment of one another’s existence, however, heard bout you a long time ago but just never thought I would get the chance to talk to you or even say a word of, hello. Now we’ve been sms-ing nonstop since the beginning of the week. Never have I sent anyone so many smses before in such a short period of days. To be frank? I dislike smsing people and sometimes never replying due to being caught up with something else but never has anyone left me waiting for a reply or eager to reply for a long while now.
Theres something special bout you. you have such an amazing character, humorous personality, beautiful smile and can actually withstand my cheesy humour. I really don’t know how you do it but you are seriously one extraordinary person. Its been soo long since ive been dying to meet someone like you. but then, im sorry.
Messed it up. And now its just, silence.
Tomorrows my paper and really don't want to add kerosine to the fire or make the situation any worst.
I think too much, read into things too much. But I can’t help it. Agreed that its perhaps too early for me to say this but for now, I really like you.
-
A long while back, ive learnt that you do not need a group of people to be by you side for you to feel comfortable even if its in a new environment. Cause, at the end of the day, one friend who actually understands and connects well with you, is equivalent to a million friends who are just putting on a mask and laughing along with you with heartless thoughts and dirt in their minds. Presently, came to a similar conclusion but that one friend is just hard to find.
♥
5/15/2011 11:11:00 PM
Sunday, May 15, 2011
longing for that innocence once again.
not looking forward to tomorrow. however, totally lookin forward to tomorrow night!
hopefully everything goes to plan and the tests tomorrow go smoothly which is something i really doubt due to the gut feeling its all going to go down the drain. on the bright side, theres still time to study tomorrow in school :) looking forward to pe, finally a chance to run around without a care :P
desperately need to do something like hopping around the place or chasing after the dog :/
yeah, life hasn't been going smoothly. nor has it been going stress free. and this pretty much adds up to --> eating more. BUT BUT. im gonna get back on to my feet and not keep eating the stress away, there must some other way.
gotta go back to the books, peace.
Sometimes there is a certain point in life when you will someone whose face, voice or even the slightest laughter, can seriously just piss the hell out of you.. and ha. ha. hello fellow "chosen one". congrats on being the first.
♥
5/14/2011 11:56:00 PM
Saturday, May 14, 2011
its usually the thoughts that attack from inside your mind, which bugs you the most.
No one ever said emotions are easily extinguished but lets never forget, every fire will eventually die out. so just wait, i wont let it bring any more harm from its harsh flames.
the past few days werent exactly the best especially for thurs. but really grateful for pearl appearing out of the blue on my way to the toilet and being there for me during yeahh. and cel for meeting up after school for dinner and just gorging ourselves with food to compensate to the stress we have been experiencing recently. thanks so much guys :)
everything just feels like its going down hill.. at the start of the year, every time my parents asked how jc was, all these faces would appear in my mind and the manageability of everything just led me replying with a smile, assuring them that everything is better than awesome. now? whenever they do, cant help but think bout how much im falling back on everything. suddenly broke down in front of them last night and really grateful that instead of shouting at me bout how low my grades were, they gave me hugs. a hug can really do so much.
just started running again and stamina really dropped. felt really tired after a few kicks during training, really got to build everything back up along with everything else but there are a few things i am certain, will never repair. like how my CT always says right now, "whats the point of saying sorry when the damage has already been done."
wish it was all like before. having a shoulder to cry on every direction you turn. but what much can i do when the past is the past and one part is already over. its different and i've learnt to accept it but the feelings are... yeah. havent we all gone through this before?
As much as I want to be the one who stands strong, unbroken,
standing by the side of another who needs my help, giving a push back up?
I’m really in need for someone to be standing next or sitting next to me right now,
giving me that little push and reassurance that everything is alright,
that everything will eventually get better.
These wounds which are finally healed?
The scars are forcibly being scrapped off,
they are bleeding again and now even more painful then before.
♥
5/11/2011 08:39:00 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
enough said.
♥
5/09/2011 12:31:00 AM
Monday, May 9, 2011
what to do..
Didn't exactly spend my day productively with the accomplishing of work but pretty much killing zombies with bro, catching up with zahrah on skype, waiting for someone online, found someone and stoning. Hah. It's already Monday and can't afford to slack today but have a feeling temptation may bring me backto waiting for someone. Bleagh..
Haven't been jogging since 2.4 ended and lost the whole feeling and motivation to jog like before. Its been perhaps 2 weeks? Really considering the need to start jogging all over again cause starting to feel like somethings missing but there must be other alternatives yeah? Hmm. :/
GE results are out and pap won :) not exactly super into politics but can't help but feel curious when it comes to what they have to say and the whole debate between all the different parties and there's one thing which kinda bothers me. George yeo didn't make it back in and seriously think it's huge pity and feel they lost a good mp :/ bah. But let's see how everything goes in the future and hope he succeeds even further in the future, respect :)
I wish I have courage.
Courage to take the first step.
But the reasons that pulls me away from doing so,
is the fear of possible regret,
or?
The fear of freaking the other party out.
And due to these main 2 reasons,
pretty much remaining a coward
till the day I finally decide to change it
and have more confidence in myself.
Cause confidence?
Is the one thing I've been drastically lacking since a young kid.
♥
5/08/2011 12:36:00 AM
Sunday, May 8, 2011
one day, if fate works to my benefit, gonna ask you, can i have this dance?
man, love this scene from high school musical 3 :)
will never forget the day and the count down to high school musical 1. it was the last day of the june school hols and was sort of rushing through an art assignment and got my weird, right movable piece in my elbow from a fall, in 2006.
while a majority number of singaporeans are anxiously, perhaps sitting infront of their televisions anxious about the GE results right now? im sitting in front of my laptop typing these words with the radio behind me break the silence. ohhh, sorry seems to be the hardest word by blue is playing right now on 95FM :D sweeet.
got the chance to watch macbeth last friday night and seriously got to say, adrian pang? IS AMAZING. and really glad to have met a few of sc peeps and especially ning :) glad to have had that catching up moment with her and we still got so much more to discuss :P got to meet a few peeps which im really grateful for as well but overall? the night was not bad
missing everyone so badly. its already been so long but yet pretty much still guilty for being stuck in this sc nostalgic moment :/
wonder what the future is going to be like :/
♥
5/06/2011 01:47:00 AM
Friday, May 6, 2011
ill take it as a, no.
Friendship, turned into a touch.
A touch, turned into a crush.
A crush, turned into confusion.
Confusion, turned into fear.
You watch the other looking at the same direction.
You stare back.
You avoid and walk away.
That person smiles genuinely,
you give a small one back.
You stare as the person walks away,
no, not a person. A beast you fear.
A beast you used to look so happily at,
looking past everything and reading that "beast".
Now that "creature" hides away from the sun, away from the light.
You? Sadly don't give much of a damn.
please dont do this. tell me nothing but the truth. dont deceit me, lie and suddenly walk away.
it kinda hurts.
♥
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