6/28/2009 06:23:00 PM

Micheal Jackson RIP
he was a great man, an awesome idol for us all. may his title, the king of pop live on forever :]

hellooo! schools tomorrow!!! O.O bahhh. just cut my hair. arghh its damn short O.O well at least my mum is happy plus she wont say i look like a gangster O.O well. i think i look nothing of that sort but more of a. hm.. coconut? :S bahhh.

got tagged by wenqian, so here it is! :D
[PS: wenqian!!! you said you'll laugh at this? i think you are gonna laugh like hell and even more tomorrow man. :S ]

Marry U - Super Junior

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I got you - Mcfly (yup yup understood i guess O.O )

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
A beautiful lie- 30 seconds to mars (aw man. no way man, honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship :D )

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Hurricane Streets - Hey Monday ( dizzy man, dizzy after the hurricane :S )

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The One I Love - Super Junior K.R.Y (HAHAH! what do you think? :] )

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Your Call - Secondhand Seranade ( Anyone need to talk? just call me :D the convos free of charge! but about the phonebill company no so free :S )

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I Feel Like Your Hero - Boyslikegirls ( HAHAH! AWWW!!! shhh! dont expose my secret man! O.O )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
In the end - Linkin Park (I WILL TOTALLY LOVE THEM! even in the end, ill love them forever :D )

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Love mera hit ( sorry what was the question again? xD )

WHAT IS 2+2?
I'll be okay - Mcfly (causeee math rockss!! :D )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Look what you've done ( UH HUH. LOOK. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE MAN. YOU HAVE INSPIRED MY LIFEEEE :D and for that thank youuuu!!! :D )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Come back to me - David Cook ( nah. for that person, as long as that person is happy, im happy :D )

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Right here - Brandy ( HAHAH! true :S my life is revolving around whats going on now i guess O.O )

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Beat it - Fall out boys ( dudee. O.O anyone has any good anger management companies to recommend before i start beating people up in the future? O.O )

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Only you - Yellowcard ( :D its true what. O.O )

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Do you know ( Ping Pong) - Enrique Iglesias ( yeah yeah i get it. i know dont worry. switch off com soon right? yeah will do :D )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The Rose - Westlife ( OH YEAHHH :D super awesome song bout lovee :] and the music video is bout someone's wedding! awww :D )

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hug - DBSK ( O.O i dont think anyone out there willing to give me a hug while the song plays? no? why!?! oh. my coffins sealed? oh its okay then. )

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
We Cry - The Script ( hey man. thats not my hobby O.O )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Mad - Ne-Yo ( HAHAH! OF COURSE!!! AND THEY ROCK :D )

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Stick with you - Pussycat Dolls ( it wont be fun being stuck to someone i guess O.O )

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Happy Birthday - The Click Five ( aw man. and thats the year im really not looking foward to O.O the song talks bout the age 21, soooo. 6 more years!!! not that bad i guess O.O )

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
My Only Chance - Forbidden City ( yeah, to be honest. i really do :S )

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Wedding Song - Kenny ( aw man. from the way things are going dont think anyone gonna invite a laughing maniac to their wedding :S )

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Its Over - Jesse Mcartney ( Heh O.O )

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Incomplete - The Last Goodnight ( hmm, eh hubby. lets go complete it! HAHAH! )

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
With me - Sum 41 ( i scare myself the most and im not afraid to say thats true, think bout it :] isnt it true? )

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Mighty to save - Hillsong ( O.O )

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
No Worries - Mcfly ( of course :S so my future self can not think of all this stuff or any worries. :S )

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Love story - Taylor Swift ( sigh, bahhhh. )

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Marry U - Super Junior ( :D SUJU!!! wa lao. so little of the korean songs came out :S )

6/28/2009 04:50:00 AM

the slightest thing can make me laugh.

think im suffering from jetlag O.O its kinda wierd cause ive been in singapore all this while but somehow feel so awake during the early morning from 12am to 5am but super tired in the evening and day time :S strange O.O my headaches are getting better :D but still suffering from sleeping issues :S bahhh.

cant believe its gonna be the first day of school tomorrow, so fast :S the math papers are super hard, ahh :S

hee chul is the love xD hehe! :D

6/26/2009 03:46:00 AM

lets just say.. lifes unfair. no not just life. people. cause without people, theres no life.


random stuff :]

bahh. suffering from insomnia for the past few days. no matter how early i sleep, i cant fall asleep. and what makes things worst is that no matter how late i wake up, ill feel so weak in the day. and right now theres seriously someting wrong with me. i cant remember what i have been doing for the past few days. i cant remember what i did, what happened, what people said to me. i really think im losing my mind. somehow woke up today without anything in my mind, no thoughts, no nothing. spent a majority of my day laying on my bed reading a book. argh.

no matter how early i try to sleep, somehow my headache always comes back when i lay down as i start thinking of so many things. argh. right now i cant even remember anything literally. im seriously losing my memory. argh. gonna read up a little on it later :S there must be some strange reason.

dad just upgraded our cable and somehow they gave us all the channels o.O despite how cool it is i guess hes gonna unsubscribe to it soon, heh heh :] was watching mtv china and felt super happy when i saw a super junior ad :D especially seeing their music video as one of the top jk hits :] goo super junior :D suju fighting!

seriously loving 4 guys :D heh heh, they are just so cool and super nice in real life as in their personality :D hee chul is super funny, cute and hyper :D sungmin is super cute, awesome at martial arts and can be serious at some times :D ryeo wook is super cute too!!! and really loyal and awesome at heart :D jae joong is just soo cool, mysterious and looks super cute with uknow :D hahah! just love them soo much :D true like how my sis told me last night, i may not get to meet them one day but still xD

those dreams were just dreams.
but yet it felt so real.
so loud that it woke me up.
and it hurt. so bad.

6/24/2009 01:26:00 PM

feeling dead at heart.

sometimes knowing the truth may suck. but knowing lies suck even more.
really not sure if one should be more pissed or shocked.
[deleted]

arghh. have been having a headache since yesterday. gonna try taking a stronger panadol after posting this. :S had a really bad headache yesterday when i got back from the library, took panadol and slept throughout the whole afternoon. woke up with the same headache which stopped for a while after taking my medication. tried to sleep early but the headache came back. tried listenning to music to sleep but somehow could not sleep till 4 plus despite going to bed early. :S

super down bout super junior :S just watched their last performance of sorry sorry and its you. ahhh. cant wait for their super junior show 2 :D really in love with their songs. sometimes when we hear korean songs or songs with a foreign language to us, unlike english songs, we dont really understand or know the deep meaning within and sometimes not really know how to appreciate its lyrics cause we dont understand a single word they are saying. but when we look it up, the meaning of each song can really make one cry, make one really happy, make one think bout ones past memories. beautiful songs :]

you never know how much one can really feel like crying while looking at his or her past photos. no matter the song, the feeling is always there.

lying on my bed with my eyes staring into the darkness.
slowly reaching for my phone as i played the songs in my ears.
closing my eyes as i let the music soothe my mind.
remembering how each song actually means something really deep behind the foreign language.
somehow reminding me of so many things in life.
thoughts started to appear.
thoughts that have been bothering me the whole day.
playing the music louder and louder to forget.
but those memories still pounded my mind.
sitting up as i stared out of the window.
wondering when all these thoughts will leave my mind.
when will all of this all end.

really in love with two songs from super junior. here are their translations :]

Dead at Heart

Really, what did you do during this love year
after letting you go, i felt like i was going to go crazy and die up until yesterday

in that long period of time, there’s only you who left me..
having no other thoughts but of you.. that’s how this year is passing by

the memories of that rainy day when i went to go find you
the clear sunshine that shined down on us when we walked together
none of these have left me.. inside my head, it makes me slowly die

all of my friends have become adults.. but me.. still like an immature child
having no other thoughts but of you.. it’s just like being dead

the memories of that rainy day when i went to go find you
the clear sunshine that shined down on us when we walked together
none of these have left me.. inside my head, it makes me slowly die

i can’t understand our breakup.. even now i imagine our future
even after our breakup, just like how my heart is always living by your side..
it’s as if it’s dead

i stop the moments that i loved you
even when we’re together, i won’t be able to remember you
if i just think that i wasn’t any of these.. then it’s nothing
if i can’t forget you.. it’s as if i’m dead

Love you more

RW) Love U More Love U More Love U More
You will always be in my heart
Love U More Love U More
Your breath will always be in my heart

SW) under the high sky, tiny marks for my love are in my song
HC) But still you’re not here next to me
But I’m still glad
KI) only thinking this on my own, I can’t be complete
SM) Your smiles are in my heart(KH/deeply[inside]) you fully completed me


LT) In your heart, my love is not there (RY/ever ever)
EH) Waiting inside [me] with you with you (KH/I pray for you)
YS) Inside my heart all of your love is there(RW/ever ever)
ALL) Your breath is in my heart (RY/ I’ll be waiting for you)


DH) In waiting, I believe this love looks for you
My work’s sweat
HC) Little by little you make me fall for your abusive Kiss Like our first meeting
KH) I can’t say it, this love in my heart takes a long time to convey
LT) Because of you, in my heart (KH/ deeply[insede]) I wanna thank you

EH) In your heart, my love isn’t there (RY/ever ever)
HC) Waiting inside [me] with you with you [LT/I pray for you]
YS) Inside my heart all of your love is there(RW/ever ever)
ALL) Your breath is in my heart (RY/ I’ll be waiting for you)


KH) In my heart, I breathe you. forever I Love U
SM) Now I miss you
YS) Even until many days have passed
RW) I know I will only love you

DH) In my heart, it will be forever you(RY/ever ever)
HK) You looking at me, those days will come to me(LT/I pray for you)
RY) In your heart, all of my love is there (RY/ ever ever)
ALL) Your breath is in my heart (RY/ I’ll be waiting for you)

RW) Love U More Love U More Love U More
KH)You will always be in my heart
RW)Love U More Love U More
KH)Your breath will always be in my heart

6/23/2009 02:38:00 AM

under the high skies theres someone singing songs of love.

felt super high after watching super junior's wonderful outing when they played this song, " hey juliet" :D hahah! brings back lots of memories a few years back :]

todays been a pretty interesting day, but kinda wasted it with my stupid headache :S somehow suffering from a headache nowadays. bahh humbug. hmm, woke up heard a message from my mum to call her asap and after calling her found out that she was starting to suspect me of having the swine flu. and after hearing wenqian's really really ENCOURAGING *cough cough* advice, started feeling a little scared of being quarantined. sis kept getting excited bout the swine flu while brother just kept going, "AHHH SWINE FLU, GO AWAY" so yup. pretty awesome day :] but after visiting the doctor, found out a few things. my condition is just an infection, the school hols are not going to be extended and the ccas may be cancelled. O.O

me: mmm!!! *thermometer in my mouth*
sis: what?!? whats your temperature?!?!
me: kinda high, heh. but cant be. must be the chocolate *grins*
sis: chocolate? ehh why not take again and lets take the average!

awww man, kinda hooked onto coffee prince :S AHHHHH. this is bad O.O but yet sooo addiciting :D heh heh



feeling super betrayed by something. yeah its wierd but. by an online game :S heh O.O have been waiting for the game to continue for yearssss and finally when its out, the singapore and malaysian server is not available yet. soo did some research and found out the taiwan server could run pretty smoothly in singapore sooo after hours of anticipation for it to finish downloading, found out that once i click the icon, question marks pop out O.O despite pressing any of the button, the programme just closes at the end after more popping question marks. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. years man, yearsss >:S tried to forget by clicking on fish tycoon. but after a while, it gets kinda dull staring at virtual fishes swimming back and forth.

ps: the circles are really badly drawn eh? overall, it kinda explains why my art teacher graded my art work upside down last year :S



honestly, im happy if youre happy :] just remember, smile alwaysss. peace

6/22/2009 02:45:00 AM

disturbed. annoyed. pissed off. agitated.
all one by one piling up.
please. just shut up. just shut the freaking hell up.

heyyy, gothic metal is pretty nice eh? O.O my head hurts so badly right now. argh. just recovered from a fever and a flu yesterday. told my brother that i had swine flu and he avoided me and started "screaming" when i went near him. heh. well. another day, another month, another year yeah? schools starting next week. its already monday. arghhh. gotta get my mind focused. seriously. have wasted my holiday with my stupid thoughts and mindsets. its time to start taking action before i really kill myself. sigh.

for 5 long and exagerated years,
i have longed to meet you once again.
hearing so much about you.
finally i get the chance to.
you sit there right infront of me.
yet the atmospheres different.
i dont know you anymore.
what a joke. what self denial.
i dont know you as much as i thought i did.
you've changed my dear good friend.

-

are you guys done?
cause im waiting for you to finish.
well now if you are now.
let me repeat this one last time.
what the hell is wrong with you?
how many times must i say it over and over again
before it gets into that freaking thick skull of yours.
seriously. can you just shut the hell up and buzz off?
thank you.

-

my mind is just going crazy.
but you know what.
bring it on.
im waiting for it all.

6/16/2009 09:14:00 PM

its all lies, disguise and deception. what the hell was i thinking all this while. all these years. i am such an idiot.

They said i was crazy,
they called me insane.
Waiting just for you
under this dark, cold night
as each day passes right before my eyes.
i sat where we first met,
where we made this treasured memory.
Holding the telescope to my eyes,
gazing into the stars hoping for a sign.
There i saw you dancing among the stars,
dancing gracefully as you smiled back.
I could not help but smile as i looked back at you.
This could not be true.
I closed my eyes and looked into the sky.
It was a hallucination.
I let my weight fall back to the ground,
laying the telescope next by my side.
Closing my eyes as i laid my arm over my face.
Ignoring all those words i once heard.
Wondering if you still remember.
Waiting just for you,
to come back to the place where we first met.
Even till today,
I sit here under these stars
hoping for it all to go back the way it was before.

-Ruth

heyy :] was looking through my com and a few documents and found that poem i kinda wrote last year and half of it this year. the reason why i wrote it was the same reason why i completed it this year. yesterday. sigh.

well, back from june camp a few days back :D still having that neck feeling lingering O.O should wear off soon i guess. this year was really memoriable. especially when wenqian jumps in the middle of the night and shock me to the death. hahah! but yeah. really missing it right now. sigh. but firstly and most of all. just want to say one thing that summarises how awesome my whole camp experience was.

DIABOLITIO! WE ARE TOTALLY COOL LIKE FIRE! COOL LIKE FIRE! :D

hahah! love you guys man :] you guys did awesome, seriously proud of you guys and will pass you the biscuits asap once school reopens k? :D really really happy to have you guys in my group :D plus you guys totally rock :] remember! "somebody call 911, diabolitio fire burning on the dance floor and we aren't sorry sorry sorry bout it! ARGHHH!!! *rows away* " :D

sometimes time passes really quickly. too quickly for us. when we close our eyes and open it once again. 3 years have already passed. cant believe it. was rummaging through a plastic bag filled with a the letters over the years and noticed something. how could i take advantage and not treasure it well. all these letters brought back so many memories for me. my friends. my class. my school. my cca. one simple letter can actually bring back years of ones experience in just one second.

after reading my blog, my sis kinda commented on how our english on both our blogs were really different. heh heh xD long story eh? hm. here are two videos that kinda summarise lots of things that usually happen around in my house. both videos were taken out of fun and randomness. no doors were hurt during the filming.



cant hold the truth.
its too large to fit in my head.

6/12/2009 04:59:00 AM

MORNINGGG :D arh. okayyy going for june camp later :D HAHAH! supposed to wake up in an hour O.O but heyy, the energy boost will be pretty much accumulated later eh? :] well it has been a pretty awesome night i guess O.O but super glad brother is finally sleeping, heh heh! :D okayy finally packed everything and done with my uniform :D just got to pack the stuff up and remember to bring my toothbrush tomorrow O.O BYE BYEEE :D

6/11/2009 04:29:00 AM

why must we wake up from a perfect dream at the end of the day.

how is this possible.
such a large country.
such a large building.
every little part of it
represents something.
how is this possible.
that i actually saw you.
walking closer far away,
but yet never seemed to reach where i stood.
and yet drifting away under the sunlight.
how is this even possible
that im going insane all over again.
argh..

i'm tired. just tired.

6/10/2009 04:27:00 AM

totally admiring jack neo and his films :D

6/10/2009 02:13:00 AM

Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright. trust me, i will.

MORNING!!! :D just finished bathing xD heh heh, kinda late O.O was pretty cool how the water was still really hot. welll. from how the weather is goin nowadays, i guess anythings possible :S aw man. think im starting to be nocturnal. HAHAH! so cool, yet annoying. feel alot more awake in the night yet so weak in the day O.O hmm. totally in love with this song! was introduced through my cousin when we started to play almost all the msn games till kinda late to pass the time o.O plus was introduced "winner at a losing game" by my sis, it has totally awesome lyrics :] somehow able to smell blood right now. weird.

went out with ashley and wenqian the day before yesterday!!! xD was superrr fun :D HAHAH! seriously admiring wenqian's photography skills and ashley's skill of making people wear dresses :D HAHAH! plus seriously gonna pay ashley back asap man. went with charissa and jiaping to sheng siong to buy stuff and pick prawns on the same mornin, HAHA! :D aw man, we must remember to keep the toy yeah? :D

after seeing how fasionable and stylo ashley and wenqian is when they came over, kinda got insulted for my sense of fashion. wa lao. ehhh i may not have a good sense of fashion but im still totally proud of it man! AHAH! xD despite it being almost the same thing over and over again :D lets all say it loudly and proudly! :D

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I've lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay
- Gone so Young by Amber Pacific

appearing everywhere.
when will it stop?
somehow never failing to forget

The Rose [ 26/4/09 ]
when our eyes met,
we both turned and looked away.
thinking to oneself.
"what could the person be thinking?
get a grip on yourself!"
turning once again
our eyes met again.
that was the beginning of it all.
we held hands as we walked down this road.
sitting closely side by side.
we looked at one another deep in thoughts.
thinking what could the opposite be thinking right now.
a rose soon came between us,
reaching both our eyes.
what made that rose so magnificant,
was that small droplet of dew hanging at the corner of its petal.
i held you tightly in my arms,
and all that i thought was..
i didnt want to let go and i never will.
that little droplet fell to the ground.
shatters of glass was heard,
gunshots filling the air.
i grabbed you in the hand and we ran away.
as we hid behind a wall,
i assured you we were fine and looked around for safety.
suddenly i relised something.
a sticky liquid filled my hands as i held yours.
i looked down with my eyes wide open.
"no. no, this cant be"
i rose my head and looked into your eyes.
your eyes had lost that shimmering blink and was slowly closing.
your sly grin slowly faded into a thin straight line.
i reached out for you and held you tightly as tears burned in my eyes.
before you left, you whispered to me softly.
"you dont know how happy i am to actually gone through this far with you"
i closed my eyes and held you tighter and whispered back.
" please, please dont leave me."
your weight fell upon my body.
"no. no. you are alive, you are not dead. no. this cant... no. you are alive. i know you are."
i shook you frantically and with desperateness.
my head slowly fell slowly to your chest as i held onto your collared shirt.
you were everything i wanted.
i cried so badly i couldnt breathe.
i gasped for this cold, heartless air.
"please, dont leave me alone."

6/07/2009 03:42:00 AM

MORNINGGG!!! TOMORROWS MONDAY!!! woohoo!!! :D damn excited for tomorrow :D heh heh! okayy had a pretty formal dinner just now and it rocked xD HAHA!!! loving cousins my so much man :] we even asked the chief for his hat and started to take pics, HAHAH! :D despite failing in learning how to shuffle and not move backwards while doing so by my cousin, it totally rocked xD and the guy who poured the drinks looks like ryeowook! HAHAH! his smile look like his too!!! superrr cool larh :D think he was staring at my cousin and i smiling at him "innocently". HAHAH! :D

aw man love ryeowook so muchhh :D super cutee! loving sungmin too :D HAHAH! hes damn cutee xD plus hes damn nicee to dogs mann xD *psst* watch the videos below, its damn funny and touching (depends which one larh) *psst*

lyrics of honesty by Ryeowook!!! ( super awesome lyrics )

If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give

CHORUS

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don't want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe

CHORUS

I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know

When I'm deep inside of me
Don't be too concerned
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Because you're the one that I depend upon

CHORUS







[ supperr funnyyy and cute :D ]


[ super sad and how awesome he is with the dog, hes damn nice larh :] ]


[HIS AWESOME SINGING IN ENGLISH!]

6/06/2009 12:48:00 AM

morning! :D aw man. still have tuition homework to finish yet still sitting infront of my com. AHHH. okay after this will go back to continue searching for my pen, heh heh. hmm. somehow noticing that theres this lizard who keeps staring into the room on the window right next to me, somehow so small, so cute, yet so spooky. i guess as long as its outside, no matter how close i am to it till i can see it stinking its tongue at me. its not that bad, haha! :D i guess O.O well. at least it killed the bumblebee o.O

[ pictures during webcam convo and jogging ]

6/05/2009 03:40:00 PM



JIEEE IM MISSING YOU MAN :( hahaha!!!

okay going to jog soon :D heh heh! using my sis's com right now, just for a while xD aw man. shes been gone for 5 days le. well at least you are comin back today!!! HAHAHH! :D YAY! :] aw man hope you allow me to post this pic xD it was a really loooong time ago when we took it xD but still! we may look weird and our specs and hairstyles maybe different now but its still an awesome pic man! :D

loving my siblings so much right now :D HAHAH! yeah im a loser but who cares! HAHAHH! :D aw man okay :D really wanted to take pics yesterday at this house. younger brother was trying to walk against the wall on this really narrow side thing and he managed too! and when he asked me to, told him i didnt dare but at the end managed too without falling in the water xD buttttt he fell in later, HAHAH! aw man. should have brought my phone or something to take pics, heh heh! im an evil person.

WELCOME BACK!!! you are behind me now asking why im using your com :D heh heh! sorry larh jie :D so cool you came back when im posting this xD

6/03/2009 11:41:00 PM



time.
past. present. future.
every man wishes to grant control of.
but yet to no avail to this very day.
bringing about so much harmony and destruction.
time.
what is time?
an illusion in all our minds?
an imaginary capsule we are all trapped in?
why cant we all just go back to the past.
why cant we all go back to the history of how it all started.
everyone hopes for peace.
everyone hopes for friendship.
everyone hopes for support.
everyone hopes for love.
then why cant we leave it that way.
why are there so many wars in this world.
i ask. is this all really neccessary for the benefits for mankind.
why is that we all hope for the truth.
yet sometimes meet times when we have to lie.
dont we all have freedom?
that freedom of living under one roof.
having that light surrounding us in this dark night.
why is it that sometimes we are so close to something.
always hoping for that one thing.
yet no matter we are, we can never reach out for it.
when will this all end.

beautiful song. beautiful lyrics.
You are the one by DBSK and Super Junior



The sound of the fall ocean waves that we listened together
as I held you in my arms, is being washed and thrown away by the tears that are falling now.
Look at me and don't cry.

You are the one
You're the only love for me
You are the sun
Your smile washes over me
You are my love
And I'm the only one for you
I'll always be by your side

Love grows deeper as the tears do
I become older as the pain grows
I want to believe that all will be okay
if I go where my heart takes me

You are the one
It's been awhile, but I'll say
You are the sun
I've always been only for you
You are my love
Sometimes I hesitated, afraid that
I'd be too close standing a step behind you

Even if a wind blows across your heart someday,
Hold onto me tightly and don't let go my love,
Hold onto me with your smile

You are the one
It's been awhile, but I'll say
You are the sun
I've always been only for you
You are my love
Sometimes I hesitated, afraid that
I'd be too close standing a step behind you

You are the one
You're the only love for me
You are the sun
Your smile washes over me
You are my love
And I'm the only one for you
I'll always be by your side

6/02/2009 01:17:00 AM

oh. things have been posted on the website. hope you will view it soon. you know what im talking bout. haha.

the chains giving out constant noices of stuggle,
gripping the walls of the cage securely together.
growls of a beast echoing in the atmosphere.
finding every way to emerge from this constricted box.
its eyes burning with fury.
enabling the one to see the pure fire within.
once released into freedom.
this fire will spread.
unleashing that anger trapped within
stored over this long period of time.
bringing not only destruction but unhappiness

6/01/2009 10:43:00 PM

you know what. forget whatever i said. yeah fine. i get it. its my fault. its always my fault right? yeah, alright i get it. i'm a loser anyway. peace.

have you forgotten everyone has their own feelings?

6/01/2009 09:09:00 PM

wednesday.
i had a class activity till 6 plus in school.
straight after it i went home for tuition.
we publisised it to the whole school.
even in our khoo audi.
and i even you asked guys if you wanted to go for the screening.
and you told me you had a geog activity with another friend.
i said okay.
i dont understand what you mean by this.
next.
okay yeah. its my fault.
but another question.
how bout you? im not saying its anyones fault.
but im going to prove a point.
all those times i cried in school.
my class. could you come right away? did any of my friends tell you? could you just appear right there, right infront of me?
no. you know why?
we are human.
do you think we will be able to find out something that has been hidden from right away? not even a single hint. word?
especially from the fact that we hardly saw each other that week.
what do you think?
i dont mind if you blame me if you told me and i had reactions and i reacted in an impulsive way. fine yeah thats my fault. but i didnt even know.
i would love to be there for you. i already told you that i would be but the thing is that.
its not that i dont want to be there. i really do.
but i didnt know.
thats the thing. i really didnt know.

6/01/2009 03:46:00 PM

okay. starting to get a headache, dont feel too well right now. argh.. sigh. alright.

before you read it. i apologise if its harsh or anything, i do wish for any misunderstandings. not feeling too well right now.

why is this even going on?
to be honest i really dont know.
you say i dont try but i do.
the reasons bout after school and recess.
i have been having alot of matters going on this week.
even if i finished it early than expected.
a single word of hello to you and just say nothing.
small periods of time i saw you, said hi to you.
you just gave a cold reply and walked a different direction.
you want to know why?
now im telling you why.
morning?
ive never said much bout it.
neither have i ever brought it up.
after such simliar incidents from previous years
do you know what has been happening from my point of view.
when you were pissed.
everytime i tried going up asking why you were tired.
asking other questions bout something.
you will just turn away or keep your head on your bag.
at times you will just keep quiet and all of a sudden just talk another friend of yours.
fine. i respect that. i didnt say anything bout it.
i just went away and respect the fact you didnt want to talk.
but this is not the first time it has happened.
yeah. maybe im a coward for not trying again.
but think bout it, do you know what kind of impact it leaves.
that hurt?
my phone bill.
now under the tight watch from my parents.
im working on cutting it down.
yeah. maybe im at wrong.
and not maybe, i am confirmed wrong.
i know i have made you pissed few times through these years.
but i do not even understand why this is even going on.
wasnt everything fine just a few days back.
do you know how it feels when you try to speak normally
when the other party just looks at you and gives you cold responses.
how do you expect me to reply? smile and laugh away?
i respect your actions. i respect our friendship. i respect you.
one last thing.
i do try.