dear fellow reader, if you happen to see this post which is the first page of the internet of the itouch you've found, i really hope you will contact me back at 82185113 and a reward will be rewarded for the exchange of the itouch. your kindness will be greatly appreciated
thank you
the strangest and most reckless things one can actually do for love.
alright. its going to be five and lying in the darkness in the study room typing this little update :) so. the past 2 nights were the best nights of my life :D finally managed to sleep over somewhere out there and away from this little cell ive been stuck in for the past 15 years of my life o.O deprived eh? slept over with my awesome cousins and really miss them right now even though its been a few hours but really hope to be able to see them tomorrow despite being warned not to leave the house already, but still :S going to try cause it may be the last. wynton, keean and chesca are bullies man. pinning me to the ground as the other run away with my laptop and typing updates on my fb. D:
awesome dota, com, macs and sleeping at 6 to 7 am days :D awesome times
despite all the fun, its immediately over. too fast :S whats worst it that. my itouch has been taken by a fellow stranger.. and its dissapearance is really freaking annoying and pissing.... but, thanks for the advice :)
weird random video taken during dinner just now o.O our favourite spot xD
♥
12/25/2009 02:33:00 AM
Friday, December 25, 2009
everything around, feels like plastic.
its christmas, haha. a day of joy, love, peace and happiness. i don't know.
some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go -Herman Hesse
[deleted] i feel like dying. my head just feels so cluttered. blasting music as loudly as i can into my ears, trying to hold back whatever thats coming out. but its not working. so weak. so fragile. hah. what a joke. im really lost. i dont understand anything. ignorance? yeah guess so
theres something wrong with me. its killing me slowly both in the inside and outside , tearing me bit by bit, and its winning.
♥
12/22/2009 01:07:00 AM
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
a permanent mask glued to ones skin.
a video comin up
ahhh, check this video out! really cute heechul xD HAHHA! just a click away! :D
finally finished teaching my bro math. so much relaxed now. heh heh :] chillin away like an ice cream :D
ahh was chattin with ariel online and starting discussing bout the k pop issues, its harsh man. plus hankyung!!! he might be leaving sm!!! D: poor heechul D: plus he too D: really wouldn't want to see him leave suju D: without the 13, it wont be complete plus one by one things may happen, we never know. sm has agreed to talk to him bout it especially when the press found the letter. but the chances is really low. especially after what happened to dbsk.. BAHHH. there are updates every hour bout him ranging from him to sm to kyuhyun to now HEECHUL!!!! (which they refer to as hankyung's girlfriend) and hankyung assuring his fans on his cyworld. oh my. not good man, not good.
wanna check this out? here are the links to some parts! hankyung: http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/super_juniors_hangkyung_requests_to_terminate_his_contract/
sm entertainment: http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/sm_entertainment_promises_to_solve_dispute_with_hankyung/
can't believe what a fool one is. giving up such a beautiful gift.
♥
12/20/2009 04:20:00 AM
Sunday, December 20, 2009
first version. (^)
second version
third version fourth version fifth version man. its easier than it looks eh? :S anyone knows how to increase the size of the pic for the template? o.O its pretty late right now and still trying figure out how to increase the pic's size but till now, still no avail. :S bahh. but managed to add the time! :D heh heh! totally got to thank zahrah and siti xD
my photoshoping skills arent really good but just started for fun :) hahah! heekyung/ hanchul fighting! totally salute to those who make their own blogskins man *salutes*
wasted the whole day today. sitting on my butt infront of the television from 2pm to 9pm, unless you exclude dinner, going to the toilet or scratching coco's leg. but man. totally wasted the day. sigh. feel like chewing on something. anyone got a bone! woof woof? :S
clinging to the corners of my bed, i forced my eyes shut, not caring about the glaring light shining through the windows. that strong feeling that overpowered in my brain not wanting to get up, not wanting to face reality all over again, and most of all, not wanting to think of you. tossing and turning, and soon facing the white celing above me. the thought of you just left me dead. brain dead.
♥
12/19/2009 12:57:00 AM
Saturday, December 19, 2009
so shattered..
THE BEAUTIFUL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- THE HOT
:D
feeling like a fool. pabbo.
there we sat at the edge of the rock, letting our legs hang freely in the open air. time passed slowly as we both remained quiet, soaking in the beauty of what stood before us, listenning to the strong waves crash along the shore. turning my head to catch a glimpse of you, i recognised that look. "whats wrong?" two words was all i could ask as you replied with a single nod with a small smile on your face, immediately vanishing within a second. standing up slowly, i reached out my hand towards you. "grab onto my hand, hold it tight and let me wash your worries away." a small grin appeared as you held on tight, clutching your hands between mine. "trust me."
if i knew what best words to use to describe you, i would say it right now.
♥
12/18/2009 01:02:00 AM
Friday, December 18, 2009
Captivated by your gaze, I couldn't even turn my head, stupid me. at least my dear heechul is happy :D
this pic is from his latest cyworld post :D bout his friendship with hankyung and his curiousity bout why he saw so many peeps with posters with him being called princess and looking like a girl :D and how he asked his manager bout it and being replied with,"That;; Hankyung is China’s prince? and you’re the princess ^-^;; AWWW :D its linked to HANCHUL :D his post title is, "Call (us) Heekyung " :D
HANCHUL / HEEKYUNG FOREVER! :D man. it really brightens my day to see heechul so happy :D hanchul!!! :D
alrighto, hope everything turns out alright the next few days, weeks, months, years. eh heh. both dogs are starting to get more grumpy o.O strange. gonna transfer a few more pics before sleepin :) peace!
our final and last day my friend. hows it gonna be.
♥
12/15/2009 12:53:00 AM
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
if only you knew how hard i am trying.
heechul looks awesome yeah? :D
THANKS SITI!!! :D mann. love you so much for telling me bout the sorry sorry - answer!!! :D *hugs*
hmm. alrighto, really hope this week goes well and smoothly. was forced to rebond my hair yesterday. once again. man, really hate rebonding but the back part of my head was left a little puffy. o.O really dislike my hairstlye plus lost my whole frindge O.O like, POOF! no more D: kinda upset. but it will grow! right? O.O ehh but still totally admire the hairstylist who cut it for me and her awesome skill in cutting hair :D *salutes* :] was a good experience i guess :) gonna take some time to get used to. plus gonna meet a few friends this week, man.
sooo, sis is back from paris a really long while back :D and she bought a berae as a christmas present xD heh heh, nows a really good time to wear it :] shes seasoning it under a pretty heavy box right now o.O hahah! bahh. need to exercise alot more D:
there once lived a fool, hiding within the shadows of a dismantled house, depending only on a candle and the moonlight that shone through the shattered glass windows. ever since he lost contact in his loved one, he kept a little notebook in his sidepocket, only taking it out in the dark night. there he sat, wide awake as he mumbled to himself. reaching out for a pen not far from him, as he started to scribble something on the book. "Dear loved one, Where are you now. Are you doing fine? Are you doing great? Why do i still think of you even though reality tells me to let go. This is what our seperation has done to me. It has turned me into this creature, a demon running from the sunlight. tonight i'll let go. along with all the memories we made. tonight a bid farewell to you. good bye, my loved one." finishing off his little note with a small smudge from his pen. his hands shook violently as he lifted the notebook closer to the candle, slowly letting it burn as he took his last glance of his memories, slowly burning away into pure, fine ashes. Goodbye forever.
♥
12/10/2009 11:56:00 PM
Thursday, December 10, 2009
really tired.
suffering from a headache right now. argh. feeling so tired of reality and how life goes along. man. i got to start reading more books. lossing it, lost it. bahh. going back to school for a while tomorrow to buy school books :] heh.
anyone got any nice song or book recommendations?
silence filled the room as one starred deeply into the darkness, listenning to the music that played loudly in one's ears. suffering from a pain both in the mind and the heart. pictures and memories of you flashing by everytime one closed one's eyes. Slowly, bit by bit. memories of you came rushing back once again. that face. that look. that smile. finally giving up as one sat up and stared out of the window. one was unable to take any further, one could not stand the pain anymore, that pain of being unable to face reality, foolishly accepting that sense of stupidity. in the dark night sky, only one little warrior stood. that one little star, which shone brightly all alone. thinking back to that time we walked under this similar night sky. thinking and wondering if you too, saw that very star.
my english sucks.
♥
12/09/2009 08:12:00 PM
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
please cure me of this illness. im dying both in the insides and outside because of you. please get out, get out of my mind.
a random pic i found somewhere, heh.
and firstly... this pic is damnnn cute xD HAHAH! :D their shirts are super cute :]
alrighto. back from taiwan since sat plus its already december and schools startin next next next next week. man does time fly eh? sigh. got to finish up some stuff and homework and really really hope that i'll be allowed to go out next week :S really important. bahh. plus got to start exercising and get my butt of this chair :S heh o.O
♥
12/06/2009 01:28:00 AM
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Have you ever been through something, some moment that you could actually acheive something you have been dreaming for but yet have to give up that one little chance in your own choice even though you haven't tried yet.
Wishing there's no such thing as emotional love or any sense of infactuation.
Too fast, immature. Stupid dreams, stupid thoughts. Thinking and wishing for the impossible, Throwing them away the moment chances appear. What an idiot, a fool. A fool willing to do anything for you.
♥
12/03/2009 09:08:00 PM
Thursday, December 3, 2009
2 december (2:37pm) Heyyy :D on a 1hr and 30 mins ride right now soo gonna write this little note :) manged to find connection for a few monutes just now and long enough to paste the note and check a little fb :) the farm was awesome!!! So much freedom with bikes and the beautiful night sky plus could just ride any bike you want and anytime plus the small motor bikes that cost 20 yuan and their weird random music o.o good times man, good times :D imagine the beautiful night sky with a airconditioned room temperarure and the ability to around the place, damn nice but we are only stayin there for one day. Bah.
Besides from the place the people the group is damn cool :D *cough+ excluding the boy who punches our asses *cough* heh o.O everyones getting freaked out by him man xD heh no offence arh. Today he kicked rocks at Chan wen and my face, seriously not wondering why he isn't hitting of the guys' butts man. Bias larh he, haha! Oh oh!!! Found out something damn funny :D couldn't stop laughing when I found out xD chan wen , a friend I met here, her name is pronounced as "qian wen" xD reminded of dear dear wen qian and told her I have a friend named wenqian :D who still owes me a trip out!!! heh heh :D plus reminded of the "vomit trip" with Ryan and Russel, haha!
Lookin foward to the card game, peace.
5.20pm Shit. The principle just called my parents.
5.40pm My parents were given 10. Minutes. I was just told my results and final decision.
It sucks to cry infront of people.
♥
12/02/2009 02:13:00 PM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
30 November, 8.50pm
Yoo outside the balcony now above the place I found connection but yet no connection available, weird. Just saw some guy come outside and looked around weirdly and all of a sudden started doing push ups. Haha, cool o.o alrighto, he just stopped and stared weirdly at me when I said hi, heh. Well, Mondays almost over. Someones holding on to my results and feeling, not too good. Congrats on those who passed, really admire you guys :)
9.32pm Just came to the other room to start replying a letter. Watching titanic and it's such a beautiful show. Plus the ads are damn cute :D heh heh.
Fear slowly arousing.
A bloody rose crushed in the virgin snow.
1/12 (2:11pm) Some kid just punched my ass a few days back. He did twice today and managed to doge both. He's lucky he's a small kid. Thus, taught my bro something, a simple equation.
Big-small= death
(5:10pm) Soo. In a prettae long train ride now and decided to write a little note :D heh. Really can't help but think bout the results. Really want to ask a friend bout how it went and how bad it is but, there's no connection plus the chances of finding connection is really slim as we are going to a farm. Well the fruits and veg here is nice, heh heh. Really scared bout a few stuff right now plus today's tuesday :) welcome back dear brave red crossers :D there's a full moon up in the sky and presently looking like a foolwearing ny 2pr class t with super baggy pants. Heh o.o finally finished typing my angel's reply and replying a few stuff yesterday but really need connection right now :S peace.
2/12 (2:15pm) starting to love this trip, want to find connection asap. Updates later, heh
♥
Disclaimer
Welcome to my blog of rants inspired through the scribbles of one's mind.
poem inspired by agatha, alex, celine
i starred at the fan on the celing,
lifting my watch to my eyes.
it was 12 am in the morning.
i looked out of the window
as i admired the clear night sky.
leaving my bed as i started to walk towards the table,
reaching out for that knife which laid there alone.
crying and crying,
as each crystal clear tear fell to the floor one by one.
feeling the fresh, cold blood rush out of my skin.
having its pain numbed by these falling tears.
and therefore. that was when the phrase,
"BLOODSHED TEARS" was formed :D
Name: Ruth Lee
A lost, confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other. Birthdate: 21st Feb 1994
SCGS!!!
1PR 07. 2PR 08. 3CO 09. 4CO 10
Red Cross!!!
Fellow member of the CLAN (established in 2010)
Fellow Head of the L.U (established in 2010)
Fellow cactus cadet of E.C.C(established in 2008)
[Evil Cactus Clan]
Overall?
An unusual fwen who is in love with music and is contented with the simple pleasures :)
Pretty much just a lost confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other.
But but! If you meet me one day, come up to mua and whack me on the back and you'll get a poke in return :D
but if you whack me when im holding something, expect a whack filled with torns >:)
But honestly?
Hmmm. Lets just say there's more than meets the eye
*grins*
A list of hopes:
chance to go star gazing
chance to enjoy the sunset at the sea side
chance to meet (people) in the future
chance to play lunia with me lunia buddy, wenqian
for both hands to clap instead of one
lots of stuff my dear friend, lots of stuff :) something i know one cannot achieve
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