ahhhh, really addicted to one song! HONEY BY KARA! its an awesome song!!!
really shouldn't be online. man, really got to start working on my language, especially english and everything else. the sec 4s had been having a 2 day personal mastery workshop yesterday and today and the overall, it was really inspiring and amazing :)
my eyeballs feel small... wind/ air + surfaces of dry eyeballs = pain
holding a blue toy as you hug it tightly under the blanket. listening to the music surround your atmosphere and fill up your world. cry out all of the sorrows you felt in the silent darkness. hugging this blue toy tighter and tighter as you recall your days as a kid. Close your eyes as you wish and hope to feel that way again. that ignorance towards exams, problems, love. but then. this is reality. so grow up.
sometimes you really wonder to yourself, why you are still alive.
i want to run away. run away from all these places and troubles for a while. to just walk alone or with a friend on the streets and question all these problems in reality.
♥
2/25/2010 11:46:00 PM
Thursday, February 25, 2010
crushed. must survive and will survive.
ahh need to finish work... *rush rush rush*
parents are starting to freak out. getting grumpy and suspicious. shit. did i leave anything out? if yes, totally dead man...
♥
2/22/2010 10:27:00 PM
Monday, February 22, 2010
i die so i dont have to live in the past.
havent been feeling well for the past few days. struck with the stomach flu, diarrhea, headaches and giddiness. not so fun. kept hugging coocoo to ease the pain. (THANK YOUUU WENQIAN FOR THE AWESOME GIFT!!! :D ) HAHA! yesterday was spent with tuitions, headaches, giddiness and a dinner with family :) pretty cool i guess, heh heh! lets just hope i'll be allowed to go out especially for a reunion during march :D hmm.
big thanks for the birthday smses, messages, notes and presents :) thanks so much :D *bows bows* especially for my little buddy who owes me warcraft battles! HEH HEH! *stares*
huge hugs to deborah for the scrapbook, brought back awesome memories man :D to come to think of it, if not for our little pact in p6 and constant kicks in the leg received, might not have joined red cross and most importantly, wouldnt get the chance to meet awesome peeps :D no regrets man, not at all xD to live by honour and to serve with pride :) HAHAH! bahh. couldnt stop laughing after each page, its sooo sweet :D PLUS WE GOTTA TO GO JOGGING SOON MAN! *cough cough* heh heh!
hmm. bio test today o.O has come and gone. a math test tomorrow! just bought a new caculator so not more violent whacking of caculators during tests anymore xD heh heh! yeah yeah, im a freak. alrighto, gtg studyyy, LETS HAVE FUN WITH AMATH TONIGHT! :D PEACEEE :)
there must another place i hid my thoughts. but where, i can't recall..
♥
2/15/2010 11:45:00 PM
Monday, February 15, 2010
will you find it in your heart and let me rest in pieces?
planning to change the blog url soon :)
ahh monday and a few more mins to tues. man, missed out in a party my dad asked us to go for today after dinner :S was supposed to be a meet up for them buds to meet up and stuff and thinking back to when i was wayyyy younger, those uncles and aunties used to come over to my house every saturday :) still remember one auntie and uncle very very clearly up till today and they happened to be the couple hosting the party today sooo asked dad to help me say hi to them and my mum stared at me like i was a freak when i said that they are the youngest and awesomest couple out of everyone going, heh heh! man good times :D when i was still small, innocent and cute (unlike how i am huge,fat, not cute today) she used to talk to me while we all ran away from the uncle and build all these "fortresses" with russell and the rest when we were wayyyy younger, but look at us now. all we see are old kids that have already either graduated from secondary school or attended the os this year. remembering how there was this very night i asked my sister what secondary school was like and what happens when we die. she told it was different as i slept at 10pm everyday and watched her sleeping so much later than me and how she told me not to think bout death but enjoy life right now.
thinking back right now, still remember how my mum wanted to buy a pair of flowery shoes for me in this shop but only replied with a O.O face and said its alright. and thats when she said those magic words,"you were my only hope" HAHHAHA! heh, im a pretty mean daughter but thanks mum, thanks D: heh heh! then thats when she explained and the day i finally understood why she constantly bought those flowery pairs of shoes when i younger O.O HAHA!
i loveee channel 175 :D saw heechul perform with short hair and that one performance i never thought i would be able to catch on the television, that one concert he made his comeback after the car accident. moved to tears man :D
ooo, just remembered a few stuff i've got to accomplish on this special day! eh wait, actually yesterday o.O why waste this beautiful day just like that since it comes once every year yeah? :D
remembering that night so clearly. the lights were on as music surrounded the room, listening to those few songs on repeat, paying to close attention to the lyrics of each song. curling up under the heavy blanket as i covered my face from the light, blocked away from being seen by anyone. that one night i cried out of confusion, constantly wiping it away from my eyes, replying with a weak voice when asked a question by another. neither did i want to be bothered, nor did i want to talk. constantly whacking my head with my fist till it started to hurt so bad, trying to get your face out of my head. that one night, i found out i had actually fallen for you. but after that very night, we never saw one another ever again. what a joke.
♥
2/14/2010 10:53:00 PM
Sunday, February 14, 2010
this isn't another girl meets boy.
happy cny and valentines day? sigh. this 5 day vacation is passing really quickly without much action happening in between these few days. not really looking to this year's celebration, its been so dull plus we are gonna go visiting tomorrow morning. not saying that it sucks or something but its just so different and quiet without my dear fellow cousin, man. really miss him :S plus valentine days been dull, nothing much happened but having a little laptop keeping me company :) ahh, valentines day. no matter the year, the age. it will forever bring me back to one year where i actually looked forward to this "valentines day", sigh. that was one of the best days and one of the best friendships man :) plus past plans for these celebrations have all been canceled sooo, feeling pretty dead.
having that one song on replay, listening to those same words repeating themselves. as it goes on and on, on that one playlist, it reminds me one by one bout the times we used to have. tears. breaking that front being put up to hide it all inside.
someone once told me tears was a sign of bravery but, somehow it feels like its a sign of weakness.
♥
2/12/2010 11:11:00 PM
Friday, February 12, 2010
fighting for something not worth dying for.
5 days to think all my thoughts clear, erase things, settle things and finish work.
LOVE MY BED!!! *hugs* okay im a freak now.
shit i miss you. its been months since we last met. the whole story replayed but in a different way. the same way you encouraged me that one time filled my whole dream. finally getting the chance to see you again was awesome. you were actually right there, right infront of me, in person. we had so much to talk about, seeing you laugh all over again was amazing. i dont know why but your happiness just brought so much happiness for me too. i swear, walking up to you was the best choice ive ever made. but then. not talking, is the worst choice i've ever made.
man, im crazy. alrighto, vids from 03/04CO 09/10 class party in jan :D credits to shanna for her awesome camera! :D sorry sorry :D
heh heh!
the day i learnt how to do heartbeat O.O
head duck!
♥
2/08/2010 10:26:00 PM
Monday, February 8, 2010
Blood and gore. Images of faces I had never seen before flashing past my eyes. Afraid.
Man. It’s a Monday and CNY is coming up! The same place, same faces, same procedure, same tradition but minus one individual person who I really miss and feel like whacking right now :S
Have been feeling pretty dizzy for the past few days plus vision hasn’t been so good lately. The world has been turning into some blur dimension that does not stop spinning. Lets just hope and pray tomorrow goes well yeah?
This is the way we have been programmed. We, humans are robots. We, are programmed a certain way, just to ensure we do certain things right. Do it wrong, we are either rebuilt, or we are reprogrammed to be corrected, all for the sake for perfection. Dislike the way we are programmed? Dislike the way we have to do this and not that? Turn the batteries within us around, Positive to positive, negative to negative. Dude, that’s when counseling comes in.
♥
2/06/2010 01:01:00 AM
Saturday, February 6, 2010
wishing that i could read your thoughts.
man. just woke up an hour ago in my uniform O.O HEH HEH :D *innocently grins* hey man, it was a rough day :S man. have a really bad stomach ache D: alrighto! aims for tonight! finish as much work as i can, continue tomorrow, and finish everything before tomorrow night for future plans! :) WOOHOO! FIGHTING! ehh, gotta get a haircut soon :S hair prettae long right now o.O so random.
ohhh, yesterday! or yesterday yesterday? hmm. day wasn't so awesome. mood was alright. but orientation, was awesome :D red cross! to live by honour and to serve with pride! it was pretty cool especially having the chance of being taught under the amazing siti with her awesome dancing skills xD man loved our booth, hahah! hope the fellow cadets have a fun time in rc plus you guys have made the right choice :D
aiyoh, better get down, down, down, down, DoWn (quote song) to work :D u-kiss's new album and After School as song motivation for the night! HAH! will reply tags soon :)
not so good. mood somehow not able to be as tolerant as before.
♥
Disclaimer
Welcome to my blog of rants inspired through the scribbles of one's mind.
poem inspired by agatha, alex, celine
i starred at the fan on the celing,
lifting my watch to my eyes.
it was 12 am in the morning.
i looked out of the window
as i admired the clear night sky.
leaving my bed as i started to walk towards the table,
reaching out for that knife which laid there alone.
crying and crying,
as each crystal clear tear fell to the floor one by one.
feeling the fresh, cold blood rush out of my skin.
having its pain numbed by these falling tears.
and therefore. that was when the phrase,
"BLOODSHED TEARS" was formed :D
Name: Ruth Lee
A lost, confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other. Birthdate: 21st Feb 1994
SCGS!!!
1PR 07. 2PR 08. 3CO 09. 4CO 10
Red Cross!!!
Fellow member of the CLAN (established in 2010)
Fellow Head of the L.U (established in 2010)
Fellow cactus cadet of E.C.C(established in 2008)
[Evil Cactus Clan]
Overall?
An unusual fwen who is in love with music and is contented with the simple pleasures :)
Pretty much just a lost confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other.
But but! If you meet me one day, come up to mua and whack me on the back and you'll get a poke in return :D
but if you whack me when im holding something, expect a whack filled with torns >:)
But honestly?
Hmmm. Lets just say there's more than meets the eye
*grins*
A list of hopes:
chance to go star gazing
chance to enjoy the sunset at the sea side
chance to meet (people) in the future
chance to play lunia with me lunia buddy, wenqian
for both hands to clap instead of one
lots of stuff my dear friend, lots of stuff :) something i know one cannot achieve
" alt=""Super Junior">
