7/31/2010 09:29:00 PM
Saturday, July 31, 2010
without you its so hard to survive.
was packing my desk today and came across this ^ sigh. really struck me bout the past years and how time flies so quickly.
inclusive of being forced to step down for the sake of studies but still it was my fault. it just struck me quite badly bout calling ashley every night as we plot new ways of changing my parent's minds and all those tears, those talks i had with that one senior who was always there for me and really glad to meet in the prefectorial board. inclusive of another hit when my parents didnt really agree in accepting my nomination for this year. and never forgetting what happened last year which really brought me down to depression and really grateful for getting another chance after all that fighting and constant advice from another really awesome senior and the people around me. but yet thinking back, really understand why my parents chose this path for me. well, today still alive and living with no regrets with my present commitment as a class rep :D
I LOVE MY CLASS!I LOVE 4CO! hahah! so random but mhmm :)
todays been really interesting and really impactful, starting from this morning to this very moment. sigh.
theres just this one question bothering me. why does everything feel so empty..
♥
7/30/2010 04:06:00 PM
Friday, July 30, 2010
somebody save me before i drown cause half my heads already submerged within this deep, heartless ocean.
the day we've been all looking for has finally arrived :) friday! from now, its gonna be just like a dream? mugging just pure math, both and a math and e math, come come lets have fun with math, haha
thumb started to hurt during the first lit paper today and a confirmed sprain after it getting hit by a ball :S can't really move it now. bahh but bandaged it with the chinese plasters due to the lack of bengay so should be alright soon, it better o.O but it was fun
the past few days have been interesting but somehow, feels so empty today, must be the tiredness huh? hah.
"The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing."
by Jim Rohn
♥
7/26/2010 03:27:00 PM
Monday, July 26, 2010
i need help.
im dont think its stress. my mind is just so clustered, so occupied. by what? i really really dont know.
prelims have started and no matter the amount of content ive just studied, nothing is getting in...
feeling really hopeless.
this isnt the time to break down. shit. shit...
we can do this.. come on..
♥
7/23/2010 08:20:00 PM
Friday, July 23, 2010
So bloody confused…
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Just wanna scream to the world…
The smile, sooo beautiful :D great, now I sound like a pervertic freak.
and for those who know what i mean, congrats :) heh heh!!!
Study camp was awesome and the day went pretty well. ahh no wait. the beginning of study camp was not just awesome but.. FAR MORE THAN AWESOME! HAHAH! mmm, im strange huh. sigh. what exactly happened? sweets and smiles happened.
prelims next week and in a few days to be exact.. madness i tell you D: so scared and totally screwed... sigh. good bye laptop for a few weeks, good bye my dear..
i feel like an idiotic childish non nonsensical little kid.
you know why? cause im longing for the presence of another...
♥
7/22/2010 08:10:00 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2010
tomorrows finally the day.
this song which played on the radio and calmed my nerves (maybe too much.. >:/) before chinese gce o listenning compre last tues. theres something wrong with the website and can't really play the clear mp3 or cd quality ones but her live performances are pretty much as awesome :) soo yeah! but check out the cd one too! its sooo nice :)
this song, is dedicated to someone close to me heart :)
please take care of yourself.
feeling so tired and break ending in one minute! today was pretty uhm. but clan chats were really awesome, really learnt alot of new facts which really makes me feel so pissed off with myself for not listenning and paying more attention in class last year >:/ man. but yeah, sigh.
to my fellow class and clan mates,
LOVE YOU GUYS :)
the pain, those tears that suddenly hit me. that shock..
its something i've never felt before.
shucks.. thats not good.
♥
7/21/2010 06:06:00 AM
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
feeling accomplished! :D
managed to survive throughout the night and just took a bath after joggin :) the morning weather is so cold D: plus the place is so quiet o.O which is a good thing especially when running while wearing the green school shorts and a obs shirt along the road side :) really really helped to get rid of the stress stuck up in my head.
alrighto, going to start walking to school soon!
note to self, dont run after a night of no sleep D: feeling a little nauseous, shall take a panadol before leaving. peacos!
happy racial harmony everyone :)
fingers crossed. if it so happens, please dont let it be awkward. sigh.
♥
7/20/2010 11:42:00 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
please dont trigger it..
listening to that one song that played on the radio before the gce listenning compre today. was soo soothing plus was really happy to hear it after so long :) just found the cd my mum bought few years back and playing it on me ipod right now. "Never say goodbye" by Hayley Westenra
happy thoughts..
sigh. shall keep this short and return to the books. dont intend to sleep tonight but have a feeling my systems gonna switch off at 3 plus or 4 >:/ 2 cups of coffee aren't working as well any longer so maybe shall upgrade to 3 cups soon. but if theres that 80% chance of still being awake, maybe shall take a jog at 5, bathe in the freezing water and take a nice early walk to school :) that would be awesomee
prelims next week. really can't believe how time flies
back to math and books, peace.
so afraid..
♥
7/17/2010 11:57:00 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2010
i keep checking but what im dying for, it isnt appearing.
its driving me crazy.
but then. whats the use.
feeling so dull now.
had been having really bad mood swings for the entire week. really sorry guys :S really think its the lack of sleep.
tolerance level has been dropping lower and lower as each day goes by. really happy that friday is over, which means less worries bout the amath, emath and bio test that day. sigh. out of this whole week got to admit monday was one of the best day of my life, hahah :) love the clan and our whacked out - ness
thursday was awesome too, met a few friends on my way back and got to walk out alot of stress stuck in my mind. hahah, thanks guys
felt really ill and woke up with a slight fever today. feeling so lethargic right now.. one week left to prelims..
is this all a joke?
what heartless prank is fate playing now.
is this the consequence, i ask.
yes i ask once more.
what the hell are you trying to do.
the pain and suffering im enduring must not be enough huh.
great..
imagine walking along the road and soon, you see a car approaching you. you who chooses not to move but yet stand there and tempted to stay rooted to the ground, only wake up and drag your two feet when the car horned loudly at you.
do you know whats the worst thing about these headaches? everytime i lie down or close my eyes, i dont sense the peace that im searching for but yet, the confusion ive been running away from.
♥
7/14/2010 09:03:00 PM
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
just a random poem? not really a poem but yeah.
freaking annoyed by the 2 lizards crawling around my desk..
will reply the tags tomorrow and start studyin for another amath quiz
peace.
♥
7/13/2010 09:10:00 PM
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
still waiting and hoping
feeling so bloody tired and really upset, maybe its the lack of sleep. my emotions are all going hay wired..
just finished tuition and math test tomorrow, need to study >:/
on the bright side, theres class game and a bball game with those little rascals right?
♥
7/12/2010 08:58:00 PM
Monday, July 12, 2010
thats the one and only time i'll ever get to be so close to you.
i've never felt this feeling for so soo long :D I FEEL SO HAPPY! HAHAHAHHAH! :D WHEEE!
lets see...
the day started off really dull excluding the awesome and lively greeting that pretty much made my morning :) was really really tired especially after sleeping at 3 plus 4 last night :S we had triple E! :D the different lessons whizzed by and soon reached geog when we all got super duper high and laughed all the way and actively responded during class with miss ku who in turn called us lalas! HAHAH! WE GOT TO PREVAIL OUR LALA BUSINESS MY FELLOW LALAs!!! :D and nooo, we don't give it up, heh heh! ICE CUBES FOR THE WIN ALL THE WAY MAN! :) asked them if they really considered starting our own lala business but response? not so good :S heh heh! STUFF happened and was really really high after that *grins* :D we went on to our monday clan lunch before bio and ended up to be one of the best clan lunches with pure madness! met the little rascals who were doing footdrill :D hahhah! reminds me so much of me sec1 life, good times man, goood times :) got pulled to the floor and elbow still hurts a little but it should cure really really soon :) we got really high till bio remedial but when bio ended, we all died :S started to get a headache and some things struck me hard. went to buy juice and ginger beer and went back for tuition, clicked on some stuff online and here i am right now :)
heh heh! moods so much better and rarely feel this way and it feels great :) sound like a saddist now O.O
wrote something but will post it another time.
looking foward to wednesday!!!! :D
and one last thing,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DEAR HEECHULIE!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIE!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISABEL!!!
♥
7/09/2010 07:33:00 PM
Friday, July 9, 2010
wow. mrs song's words really left a huge impact and i promise to do my best :)
lets get down to business.
new aim. LETS BE REPLICAS AND WORK HARDER >:D
sigh, really dont wanna lose this motivation any time soon o.O
won't be usin the com as much unless for work but will post sometimes, peace peeps :)
why am i feeling regret, uneasy.
everytime you're no where in sight,
I die for a chance to see you.
But everytime I do,
you just come closer and closer.
Sometimes I really wonder whats going on in your mind.
To actually think you were behind me all along.
its mind boggling.
to actually think the person I saw at the corner of my eye who i thought wasn't you,
really was you.
every moment spent with you within my sight,
makes me forget bout everything.
worries, sadness, anger, pain
these emotions don't exist any more.
its just as though you were the only one standing on this Earth,
a distraction from all my worries and burdens,
asense of joy, happiness.
having these thoughts are one of the biggest regrets in my life.
But yet, one of those regrets which I stupidly choose to ignore.
what idiocy
♥
7/08/2010 08:29:00 PM
Thursday, July 8, 2010
im so sorry to say this and know i have no right to say it but, its a little pissing how some people never learn their lesson and take the chance to be with the one they longed to be with for granted.
today was interesting and a pretty awesome day but somehow part of me can't help bout think bout some stuff. hmm. the mind sure does enjoy playing tricks on our thoughts huh
felt really happy at the end cause those little rascals remembered today's hugging day :D heh heh, thanks so much guys :) really really really reallyyy touched :) plus feeling so much better after the hugs, hahaha! thanks for making my day! :)
now, on to our last and dear english essay :/
♥
7/07/2010 09:35:00 PM
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
bahh humbug.
will never forget going on to allkpop a few days back and seeing ^ that pic, couldn't stop smiling, HAHA! loveee his new hair, whee! heechuls so hot :) heh heh! they just released the, "no other" video yesterday and can't help but rewind his part, over and over again *grins*
decided to go back to posting pics dependent on the mood? or maybe just for fun :) heh heh! alternate pics :)
somehow, no matter how much my classmates annoy me bout stuff which can get really really extreme... can't help but love them :) heh heh! *innocently grins* lovey you guys!
once a 4coian, always a 4coian :)
♥
7/06/2010 08:16:00 PM
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
you don't know me.
will it be stupid if i told you im actually waiting for someone who doesnt have my number to call me?
sigh. guess so :S *shrugs*
off to start on homework, peaceos :)
♥
7/05/2010 04:02:00 PM
Monday, July 5, 2010
it used to be that way.
eclipse with fellow 4coians was awesome :)
found this quote, eh. well, pretty long one..
"Some people don't catch on, they rather just pretend*
While things are going smooth, they smile and call you 'friend'.
Funny how you never know who cares until it hurts,
and when it's over, does it matter who blew off who first?"
credits to the person who posted it online
so, what do you think?
its unbelievable how people just follow scripts,
choosing not to put their heart and soul in their acting,
but yet do it with an empty heart with masks covering their faces,
following the fixed roles just to go along with the whole play.
its difficult to see them when you watch them perform on stage.
take off their masks and thats when you see their true identity.
rip off their hearts and watch how their black hearts beat bit by bit by bit..
right. now i sound like a murderous freak. heard bout that person many times but continued to deny but few months ago, finally understood why.
one day its gonna cross the line so badly that someone might get hurt.
♥
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why am i feeling regret, uneasy.
