Welcome to my blog of bloodshed tears..

3/12/2011 09:28:00 PM

Saturday, March 12, 2011

don't call me cause i shouted. im honestly not bothered.

Don’t tell me it’s like that. Don’t tell me anyone has to leave. Don’t tell me that someone is being cheated. Have you ever thought about experience? Have you ever thought bout what we could, in fact, learn from all this experience? Cents mean everything to everyone. Why? Cause it makes the world go round, it provides us with our meals, clothes, shelter, education? Yeah but this is a once in a life time experience. Why go kill it for someone? Yeah that person won’t get the full amount but come on, its not as though that person will be doing it forever right? Yes? And that person has always been dying for that ONE chance, ONE opportunity. That person does AMAZING on such and you all already forbid that person to fulfill their dream, passion. Its not that I don’t understand the importance of it all. Nor is it that I do not understand how all this flows especially with our present intensive system and how without whatever, we can do much and end up living not to the highest expectations or whatever but why do we even need to live up to this “highest” expectation. We learnt humans have unlimited wants and our scarce resources can’t live up to all of our materialistic wants. But this? Yes it spends time and that person should be focus on other things now but why kill it when it was all starting flow smoothly, smoother, getting used to it, last time? I didn’t mean to shout or fight back but individually, I feel its unfair. Understood its normal to worry and care bout their welfare and wellbeing but come on. Don’t tell me its just, like this. Don’t tell me that one should always be doing whatever you map out for us because what if we really don’t want to do it.

Call me insecure or idiotic but really don’t want to be standing here alone. I admit, I am scared. Couldn’t take a few months, now? I have to hear this kind of shit? Really? Seriously? I’m not being dependent on anyone but the fact that theres no one standing next to me and the absence of the only place one can truly be myself? its bloody pissing. pissing that you have done so much yet have to go through all this shit.. it sucks.

and all this? its fucking upsetting..

There you screamed orders for me to abide. Threw me into the battlefield where I fought my very best. You screamed more orders for me to withdraw. I withdrew. Now you’ve taken away my shield and sword, threw me back into the battlefield, weaponless. Do you honestly think I’ll come back alive?

♥

Disclaimer

Welcome to my blog of rants inspired through the scribbles of one's mind.

poem inspired by agatha, alex, celine
i starred at the fan on the celing,
lifting my watch to my eyes.
it was 12 am in the morning.
i looked out of the window
as i admired the clear night sky.
leaving my bed as i started to walk towards the table,
reaching out for that knife which laid there alone.
crying and crying,
as each crystal clear tear fell to the floor one by one.
feeling the fresh, cold blood rush out of my skin.
having its pain numbed by these falling tears.
and therefore. that was when the phrase,
"BLOODSHED TEARS" was formed :D

HAHAH!

Designer: Zahrah / Shirleen / Jialing ♥
Photo: Zahrah / Ruth ♥
Layout: Hanchul

Let the music be the remedy of thee's soul

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Prologue

Name: Ruth Lee
A lost, confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other.
Birthdate: 21st Feb 1994
SCGS!!!
1PR 07. 2PR 08. 3CO 09. 4CO 10
Red Cross!!!
Fellow member of the CLAN (established in 2010)
Fellow Head of the L.U (established in 2010)
Fellow cactus cadet of E.C.C(established in 2008)
[Evil Cactus Clan]

Overall?
An unusual fwen who is in love with music and is contented with the simple pleasures :)
Pretty much just a lost confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other.
But but! If you meet me one day, come up to mua and whack me on the back and you'll get a poke in return :D
but if you whack me when im holding something, expect a whack filled with torns >:)

But honestly?

Hmmm. Lets just say there's more than meets the eye

*grins*

A list of hopes:
chance to go star gazing
chance to enjoy the sunset at the sea side
chance to meet (people) in the future
chance to play lunia with me lunia buddy, wenqian
for both hands to clap instead of one
lots of stuff my dear friend, lots of stuff :)
~~something i know one cannot achieve~~

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Fwens who have been poked by the stick

♥: `
Abigail
Adilaa
Aga
Alison
Aisyah
Alex
Amanda
Amelia
Ariel
Azidah ma'am (Senior)
Char
Carolyn
Celine
Clarissa
Constance
Daphne
Deb
Debbie
Dione
Diyana
Elizabeth
Elizabeth Heah
Esther
Ethel
Faeqa
Gilda Ma'am(Senior)
Gaby
Hannah
Huijun
Isabel
Jam poppers!
Jacqueline
Jesslyn(Senior)
Jessica
Karuna
Jing Rui Ma'am(Senior)
Leewei
Leerui
Lindee
Li Qin ma'am (Senior)
Mabel
Marissa
Marsya
Maryanne
Meiyin
Miranda
Miselle
Nadira
Red Cross Level Blog
Pearl
Pei Wei
Pei Wen Ma'am (Senior)
Piramol
Rachel ma'am(Senior)(a.ka peerleader)
Ru Ying
Sadrina
Shanna
Siti Sarah
Thea
Tracy
Victoria Ma'am(Senior)
Wailam Ma'am(Senior)
Wen Qian
Xueqi
Yan Bing Ma'am(Senior)
Zahrah
Zi Ying Ma'am(Senior)

SCRCY Sec1s 10
Kristal
Lisa
Nicole
Zeeba