6/30/2010 09:19:00 PM
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
need to get over things quickly. its the truth, so why be the only fool still left behind crying.
seriously dead tired right now and brain hasnt exactly been in the right of mind lately. really killed by the amath test today and chinese os tomorrow inclusive of amath quiz. ahh... lifes been strange, really strange. remember how i constantly used "depressed" in the past and was asked by a tagger bout it. yeah, i overused the word back then but what if i tell you today, yes. i am depressed. what do i mean by this? im still waiting for a day which will never come, im still lying to myself about something which i know truely, is false, im still in self denial that everything is still the same, im still lying to myself that when we wake up, everything will go back to the way it was and just how we left it, lying to myself how time is just an illusion. overall, leaving my mind thinking about things i shouldnt be thinking about every single second my mind is given time to wander off. when will i start facing reality, hah. what a joke.
shouldnt be thinking bout all this now especially with chinese os tomorrow. but my mind just can't help see this one single thing from my past, months/year ago. something which i never truly treasured till today, well this sucks. heh. but then, watching my past self actually doing this kinda leaves me smiling but yet. its not good. not something i should be recalling about, out of everything in my past, not this. never should be. yesterday, i've decided to let go of some weird things in life. but then today i figured, its not going to be easy.
you were actually standing next to me.
right next to me and just an arm distance away.
acted ignorant to everything around me,
staring forward and carried on with whatever i was doing.
appreciating this moment which will never happen ever again.
but then,
i can't help but think bout those few seconds.
over and over again it plays in my mind,
leaving me wondering,
did you even know i was standing there,
right next to where you were?
i guess not.
but yet, i wish you did.
can't help but cry when i see those little guys, sigh.
got to stop this.
♥
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