4/28/2010 08:28:00 PM
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
wake me up, i'm begging you on my knees, just wake me up.
no, its not real. its all fake. a lie. a small white lie.
let this all be a nightmare, a nightmare i've yet to be awaken from.
do you truly think lifes so easy.
let me burst that bubble and tell you it will never be.
life isnt like a game,
replaying the stage when its game over,
pressing the reset button when its hanged.
no, not at all.
in life,
when someone dies, someone dies.
if someone leaves, someone leaves.
theres nothing to reset it all,
nothing to replay the life you've once had.
and most importantly,
no function to pause time and leave it as it once was.
i hate goodbyes,
no, there isnt such a word.
♥
4/27/2010 09:24:00 PM
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
the heart never lies.
lost in thought :S
huge thanks to linda and wenqian :) thanks guys
study camp is pretty good :) finished all me school work in school and feel a little more free now, heh heh :D gonna start on tuition work in hopes to finish it all before thursday with future thoughts in mind
peace.
each day, the mind and the heart quarrel.
the mind argues its fake, its all fake.
repeating this word over and over again,
making the host think that way,
giving senses that its all an illusion,
something that shouldnt be happening.
but yet, the heart works in another way.
the heart beats faster and faster whenever the mind works that way,
going against all the signals sent from the brain,
causing the host to do things without thinking,
without considering anything when carrying out something.
the mind gives you knowledge to do things.
the heart gives you feelings to things.
at the end of the day,
the heart is still the one pumping,
the one giving you life.
every threat by the mind is rebutted with another in regards to death.
the war goes on everyday within every soul upon this earth.
at the end,
the heart always wins.
♥
4/25/2010 11:04:00 PM
Sunday, April 25, 2010
everything happens for a reason.
was high, but the balloon pop and fell back to earth. :S
what if i told you that i can't let go.
what if i told you, i'll never let go.
what if i told you, i'm dying,
dying not because of the gun next to my head,
but dying because of all yearned memories,
memories in hopes to return and go back to the way it was.
call me stubborn for not accepting reality,
call me an idiot for lying to myself,
but lying is the only solution to ease the pain,
a pain that will never be cured.
it will never be the same, i know.
but everyday i still hope and pray,
lying to myself it hasnt been years but just a few days,
that its all temporary,
just temporary.
loaded the gun,
pulled the trigger.
now there's just the shooting left.
hah.
i really miss you guys.
♥
4/23/2010 10:15:00 PM
Friday, April 23, 2010
singing the same song over and over again, i wonder if one day you'll get to hear me sing it, knowing it was all bout you..
phone confiscated. ptd tomorrow. last sports day last friday, run was awesome and congrats to those who ran for 4co and red cross. good jobs guys :)
sigh. shall continue on me private blog but lets just say lifes unpredictable. everything kills you. really feel like running somewhere and out of this house. thought of a place last night and shall visit that place one day. anyone interested?
just half an hour ago. found out bout something online. hah, what a joke.
♥
4/19/2010 04:25:00 AM
Monday, April 19, 2010
i beg you please, just get out of my mind before i go crazy.
your eyes, its just so, so.. hypnotizing.
just hating how jealousy is slowly building within me. sigh.
man, really should have listened to my sis bout coffee, really didnt expect 2 cups to keep me up the whole night O.O well at least my energy level didnt cut off at 11 plus and managed to finish quite an amount of homework :D heh heh! pretty happy but just afraid all the energy will wear off during lessons, shoot. i see bug blood O.O
really love this so much,
"No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of the fall. No one afraid to play, they are afraid to lose. No one is afraid of the dark, they're afraid of what's in it. No one is afraid to say "i love you," they are afraid of the response."
have been pondering bout a similar situation lately, sigh. lifes confusing i guess?
So I keep runnin'
With real love in my face
Why am I breakin' away
I keep runnin'
So scared of the heartbreak
So scared of makin' mistakes
I keep runnin'
When all I really need is you
All I really need is you
But I keep on runnin' away
-Runnin by Jesse McCartney
♥
4/17/2010 08:54:00 PM
Saturday, April 17, 2010
"love and friendship met one day.
love asked, "why do you exist?"
friendship answered, "to put a smile where you leave tears."
then love asked again, "well, if that's what you do,
how come there are still many people crying?"
friendship said, "it's my fault. instead of doing my job,
i sometimes end up doing yours."
"Everyone wants to be your sun,but not me.
I want to be your moon so i can light up
your darkest moments when your sun isn't around."
Credits to alex's request :)
man, these may but short, but its really, truly beautiful. just been recommended by alex to this site filled with quotes, its all seriously so amazing. really look up to these peeps who wrote them :)
♥
4/16/2010 01:49:00 AM
Friday, April 16, 2010
will it be crazy if i told that i loved you too much to let you stay?
sigh, todays sports day :) 4co lets cheer super loudly yeah? plus all the best to all the runners inclusive of red cross! we will own this year man :D heh heh! just woke up on the floor, feeling kinda tired but can't seem to sleep. humbug? man, its pretty good for the back, feeling so many years younger, hahah! feeling so old especially with the white hair, extreme loss of memory and backaches. well, time to save up for the walking stick eh?
have you ever loved someone?
someone you knew would never love you back?
someone you knew was out of your league?
someone you knew you had no courage to approach?
just imagine,
if only.
if only you had the courage to approach the person.
just a few words, thats all it takes.
simple? hah.
but then the consequences are fatal.
think.
you stand behind the person as you stare at the back image,
what if one day you really dared to speak up and ask.
how would the other party react?
stare back at you like a freak and walk off?
laugh it off at your face and say it will NEVER happen?
find it amusing and spread it around?
but at the end of the day as you set aside these thoughts,
there will forever be one everyone would love to get back.
the other party having a bright smile on the face,
and telling you how long the person was longing for this day to happen.
sigh. but its easier said than done huh?
love takes courage,
love takes commitment,
love takes trust and understanding.
but if one day it crushes you,
its sometimes considered as half of you being shot dead.
think i'm going mental.
some people have issues.
but then sometimes,
those issues are people.
♥
4/08/2010 11:33:00 PM
Thursday, April 8, 2010
we are all murderers of time.
man. starting to feel a little tired but gotta finish filing stuff :S and maybe finishing writing the letter by tonight? see how things go i guess :) sc carnival is comin up this sat, its gonna be epic man :D
learnt something from a sudden thought and vision..
once believed that one should always be happy when seeing the one he or she loves, happy for that fact that the other party is smiling despite being with another. but think bout it, its easier said than done. now you say it, over and over again but once that day comes, trust me. its kills you so bad, so badly you can't imagine the anger and hurt burning within you. will you really be able to take it all? we are just humans. humans, with emotions.
the place was white,
brightly lit as the strong rays of the sun
shone through the windows of tainted glass.
the place was crowded with people of unfamiliar faces.
everyone were somehow rushing forward into the chapel,
curious about what was going on.
you seemed unbothered but yet somewhat curious,
standing there as you watched them crowd some more.
you blinked,
suddenly appearing right in front where the crowd used to be,
holding a bouquet of flowers in your hands,
wondering why there was a certain space between you and this crowd.
you turned your head as you started to grip the bouquet tightly,
finally seeing faces your recognised but yet many questions appeared in your mind.
"whats going on?
why are they here?
where are we?
how is it possible that, that person is here?
could it all be just a dream? or is just reality?"
soon these questions were answered.
you started to have a bad feeling as you saw the two staring,
staring deeply into each others' eyes as they stood facing one another.
you smiled to yourself as you saw the one loved smiling,
smiling not at you, but another in your position.
they held one another's hands as their eyes glistened with happiness.
you sighed to yourself,
wondering how well you would accept it,
constantly repeating to yourself that you could take it,
repeating, that love was not bout oneself,
but yet for the happiness of the one truly loved.
things got awkward as you stood there looking at them.
right before your very own eyes,
you saw them going closer to one another,
leaning forward and soon locking their lips.
it was unbearable.
you looked down as you closed your eyes,
hiding every emotion within you as tears started to form,
slowly making your way towards the door.
this time,
the door did not lead you back to the front,
but yet led you back to reality,
where you knew all this was not meant to be.
being random? yeah maybe.
♥
4/05/2010 12:54:00 AM
Monday, April 5, 2010
i hate it when you go but i love to see you leave.
shit. this couldnt be happening. not again.heyy :) the weekends were spent well restoring energy, heh heh. plus talentime competition last sat and it was awesomee! awesome job and tough competition, congrats to all schools who got into the finals! plus song, dance and drama did awesome! we managed to get one of the top few :D told you red cross is cool, heh heh!
just wishing i had one more day of rest and spend it killing zombies with my bro, sigh.
man. theres something wrong with me. i've been killed. killed emotionally. everythings just so numb. but then maybe its because of something. the only thing that is somehow still alive in this number emotional state.Sometimes you think to yourself.
Looking around you,
at the bloody mess you've made.
You stop and think,
staring hard at your hands covered in fresh blood.
This mess you've got yourself into,
forever and permanently stain upon these hands.
You think some more and rush to the washroom.
You immediately turn on the tap,
desperately rubbing the surface of your hands against one another,
over and over again.
No matter how hard you tried,
these stains were never erased.
Droplets of sweat started to trickle at the side of your forehead.
You halted in your actions as you started to take in deep breaths,
soon accepting the fact that once stained.
forever scarred.
Scarred deeply with this injury.
♥
4/02/2010 10:06:00 AM
Friday, April 2, 2010
sometimes you really dont know why certain things are going on, having wounds forever injured upon your body.
you think and you think. whats real and whats not. man, seriously? f ing pissed off. thanks so much fellow angel and ward for the gifts! still owe you guys yeah :)
this morning was awesome till one noticed something. how much idiotic can all this get.congrats to those classes who got top3! :D plus 4co, congrats dudettes :D
blame it on being paranoid but doubt it. this isn't reality. its all an act.new desktop pic:
heh heh!
inclusive of emotions. whats this? another joke and suffering implementing by the person who chooses our fate?alll the best to drama, song and dance this friday! we are gonna own! go red cross!
wondering if anyone would actually see this..you did, didnt you?
off to play warcraft to get rid of all this anger.
♥
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