annoyed. lost. pissed. happy. confused. hurt. tired. longing. whacking one's head on the freaking wall.
sigh. just noticed that the full moon that shone brightly that night was the brightest and fullest moon of the whole 2010, pretty cool :) man, have you ever wish you had a remote control that controlled the way of life? have ever wonder what the outcome would be like if you did something, really hoping to do that one single thing but yet afraid of what the outcome may be as pain and curiosity slowly builds up within yourself? hoping and praying for this "control" to rewind time if that outcome ended up badly. or maybe use this "control" to rewind time and enjoy those awesome days all over again be it with your awesome friends or family.
shit. i miss you. scorn and derision never come in tears. look, when i vow, i weep; and vow so born, in their nativity all truth appears.
forbidden. we sat alone in this small room, light shone through these transparent glass windows as the room started to move. you smiled at me as i smile back at you, having only a table obstructing the space between us, that moment was amazing as we laughed along with all the jokes we said. somehow it soon reached a point it got serious. you reached out for my hand and held in between your warm palms, giving me a straight face and took a deep breath, "I've got something important to tell you." Shock reflected in my eyes and on my face as i felt you clutching my hands tighter and tighter. "Er. Yeah?" You looked straight into my eyes as your mouth started to open. "I don't know." You looked away with your hands still holding mine, turning your head back and said. "I.." The moment i heard the first word, bells started to ring in my ears. could it really be true? could you really be saying this? could this be a dream? and. that was when i woke up and yeah. it was a dream......
shit, i missed the chance once again. man. it seriously f-ing hurts to the core...
♥
1/30/2010 01:42:00 AM
Saturday, January 30, 2010
in my head. your smile, your glance, your presence, your existence. its all in my head.
its finally friday! which means rest day :) high on chocolate and apples :] heh heh, alrighto. its saturday today but it pretty much still counts right? in a sense *grins innocently* sigh. lifes been strange and tough is weird ways. mum just cut my hair, ehhh. few hours ago :) and she was asking why my frindge looked weird and thats when i explained everything, hahah! she wants me to thank wenqian though for the haircut xD HAHAH!
tired :S thinking back, the class party a few weeks back was awesome :D and the next time we might be holding another one will be at the end of the year? :S woohoo! lets do this man! but for now, tests this coming week to focus on o.O man, pretty tired. oh oh, did you notice the full moon yesterday? not sure bout tonight though. its so beautiful especially with the stars filling up the empty spaces in the dark night sky :D alrighto. off to snooze off to the little dreamland on my bed, peace!
come come, lets go lose weight and keep fit :D
lost in our world of worries, there stood a glass wall between us. No matter how long I longed for this opportunity, It appeared a lot more different than I thought it would. There you stood in front of me at the other side of this transparent wall, smiling towards you as our eyes met. The smile started to slowly fade away as I turned speechless. Tears started to collect in your eyes, as the white started to turn bloodshot red. No matter how loud I shouted and how hard I tried to break this wall, it never broke. Nothing I said could be heard by you, There was nothing I could do but stare, Watching you cry profusely as I just stood there, Just stood there. Weak, useless. I’m sorry
♥
1/23/2010 12:23:00 AM
Saturday, January 23, 2010
hate saying goodbyes.
man, this sucks. lifes been different :S plus this laptop has lost everything in it :S every single thing, even itunes. bah.
it seemed like only yesterday, when we were laughing together side by side, fooling around no matter how annoying it got. but yet today is the day. the day you had to leave, never knowing when ill get the chance to see you ever again.
i hate reality. i hate life. i hate the fact it hurts and i hate how weak i am. looking at all the pictures, it suddenly struck me that ive lost two really important people in my life. one leaving my life and another present but yet far far away.
dude. you dont know how lucky you are, to escape from all that anger that is slowly building up. if you really think im that worthless than tell me, instead of putting on a show of perfection and deceit, taking away something that was halfway finished.
im really really confused. and i really really hate that feeling of it all over again.
♥
1/16/2010 01:10:00 AM
Saturday, January 16, 2010
baby you were right, im tired of being sorry.
LOVEEEE YOU SITI!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEE! BEG ALBUMMMM :D *dances around the room*
tomorrow! 3/4CO CLASS PARTY!!!! :D SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW!!!
No matter how long I stood, No matter how long I shouted, And no matter how hard I tried. It never worked out, did it? All those things done just for you, Repaid? with that one single smirk on your face and a stab in the chest.
♥
1/13/2010 03:38:00 AM
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
last night, i knew what to say. but you weren't there to hear it.
finally done. sigh. got to stop getting so distracted :S
ahhh today was interesting especially when fellow wenqian is in your life, HAHHA! dear person who cut my frindge and gave me this AWESOME new style, yesterday morning till its crooked O.O she managed to turn a side frindge into bangs. o.O she arh. even said she wasn't happy with her "master piece" HAHAH! bahh. it will grow back i guess :S plus on the brighter side, parents must be really happy my frindge is not covering my eyes anymore :S but still thanks for the awesome experience o.O
bahh vision starting to blur.. nightos! :D
From your side, You think I’ve long forgotten you. But. From my side, I don’t have the courage to talk to you.
♥
1/10/2010 02:12:00 AM
Sunday, January 10, 2010
why is it you that i've fallen for.
good old(young) heechul with his long black hair :D
along with.. a snapshot of ga-in in abracadabra :D the members are all really awesome!!! :D
still can't believe that i missed the chance to see them in person during the seoul out concert. :S bah.. somehow miryo and ga-in remind me of two friends xD they look prettae alike O.O especially for ga-in :] hmm, starting to love BEG a little more and more :] its pretty late right now and parents weren't very happy when they saw me waking up at 2 plus in the afternoon today. :S we live on batteries too you know :S
just managed to get the itouch player :D CHECK OUT THE AWESOME VIDEOS! :D HEH HEH! ;] love miryo's and je a's comeback teasers the most :D shows all 4 members together xD love the part when ga-in screams xD HAHA!!! je a was in the midst of composing a song which is in their latest album :D Je A's : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z1_7eaSQPw Miryo's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOWsWD_AmL0
was just told bout my laptop and how its damage on the harddrive is pretty bad and how difficult it will be to retrieve any file. which means, will not be able to retrieve the class video, all my pics, songs and maybe even my video editing programme. sorta pissed.. :S but pretty much my fault bout it dropping :S bah.
sometimes there are points in life when you are afraid to do certain things, constantly coming up with excuses to fool yourself. telling yourself "I'll just do it tomorrow" over and over again. questioning yourself why you should be afraid to wait for another time, reassuring yourself the long time both parties still have left in life. but what if one day something happens, and that person wont get to hear those words you have to say, are you going to look back and question why you didnt say so earlier? no matter how much time you spend kneeling and begging on your knees, fate continues to remain unfair to you. do whatever you can do right now, dont do it too late and look back with no regrets, lightening that heavy heart which you bear within.
3 words. is it really so hard to say?
check this video out :D super cute :]
♥
1/09/2010 04:24:00 AM
Saturday, January 9, 2010
am i hallucinating or did i just see the impossible done by you.
bah, cant post pics :S its already 2010. wow. think everybodys been pretty stressed out lately with the tests and homework yeah? time passes too fast. and it must be almost the tenth time typing that phrase on this blog, heh. bahh. itouch got stolen, laptops broken. whats next.
hm. oh oh! loveee BEG!!! :D GA-IN!!! :D all the members are really cool and nice xD was looking at the videos on youtube bout their visit during the seoul out concert and they seem pretty nice while ga-in had headphones almost all the way and looked really stern o.O man, so addicted to their song, sign :D super nicee :] plus love their new album, G sign :D
change. sometimes for the bad? or sometimes for the better?
its a game with such a predictable ending everyone stops me everytime i talk about you. But still, I have no choice. thinking about you keeps me smiling
-How Come by BEG
the only thing keeping me smiling.
♥
Disclaimer
Welcome to my blog of rants inspired through the scribbles of one's mind.
poem inspired by agatha, alex, celine
i starred at the fan on the celing,
lifting my watch to my eyes.
it was 12 am in the morning.
i looked out of the window
as i admired the clear night sky.
leaving my bed as i started to walk towards the table,
reaching out for that knife which laid there alone.
crying and crying,
as each crystal clear tear fell to the floor one by one.
feeling the fresh, cold blood rush out of my skin.
having its pain numbed by these falling tears.
and therefore. that was when the phrase,
"BLOODSHED TEARS" was formed :D
Name: Ruth Lee
A lost, confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other. Birthdate: 21st Feb 1994
SCGS!!!
1PR 07. 2PR 08. 3CO 09. 4CO 10
Red Cross!!!
Fellow member of the CLAN (established in 2010)
Fellow Head of the L.U (established in 2010)
Fellow cactus cadet of E.C.C(established in 2008)
[Evil Cactus Clan]
Overall?
An unusual fwen who is in love with music and is contented with the simple pleasures :)
Pretty much just a lost confused soul wandering around this world with only a stick in one hand and a shield in the other.
But but! If you meet me one day, come up to mua and whack me on the back and you'll get a poke in return :D
but if you whack me when im holding something, expect a whack filled with torns >:)
But honestly?
Hmmm. Lets just say there's more than meets the eye
*grins*
A list of hopes:
chance to go star gazing
chance to enjoy the sunset at the sea side
chance to meet (people) in the future
chance to play lunia with me lunia buddy, wenqian
for both hands to clap instead of one
lots of stuff my dear friend, lots of stuff :) something i know one cannot achieve
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