Welcome to my blog of bloodshed tears..

7/31/2009 11:17:00 PM

Friday, July 31, 2009

I call, even though i call for you. And there's no reply, I'll wait for you

BAHH. I miss the fresh air! The birds chirping! The leafs of the trees rustling in the wind! I miss the outdoors man! D: BAHH. A mystical place, outdoors! Outdoors! Ou-utttdooooooors!!!
Forced in this constricted “prison” once again. Bah. Okay not really constricted prison but ive been stuck here for the past 5 days! Well actually all my life but. 5 days D: maybe im being a little cranky but lifes really dull without school and the ability to even leave the house. :S

Mtv is holding their “world stage” performance in Malaysia! O.O so close yet so far. But still! Nine inch nails and lady gaga is coming to Singapore to perform. But when you compare two artists to thousands of them in the world stage performance O.O the closest super junior and dbsk got to Singapore is Malaysia D: hope they stop by Singapore in both of their next asian tours xD

Bahhh. Not allowed to leave the house once again. Well. the excuse of the signing the form didn’t work so off to plan 2. Which is.. rotting at home. BAH :S I wish I had some teleporting machine :] heh heh. Alright. Im going crazy, cranky, aging faster and once again losing my mind xS

Loving one of heechul’s and hangeng’s line in the song “U” by Super Junior following up with ryeowook xD

Han geng: Don’t look at me like that, the game with you hasn’t started yet”

Heechul:“Let me read your tarot cards and I’ll find your ideal guy”

And then ryeowook will then go…
“and I’ll make that guy become me”

:D

Heechul looks damn hot with his long original hair when he first debuted and that’s a fact :D
U by Super Junior

♥

7/30/2009 10:01:00 PM

Thursday, July 30, 2009

pissed off man. forced to stay at home for another day. just hope my parents allow me to go for my geog project...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

♥

7/30/2009 08:49:00 PM

i hate the fact that theres an error once again.
i hate the fact i missed 3 days of school.
i hate the fact i missed ndp rehersal.
i hate the fact i feel so weak.
i hate the fact i got affected by personnel reasons in the house.
i hate the fact i cant keep my promise to a friend.
i hate the fact i am typing that i hate all these facts.
i hate facts.
i hate myself.
overall. this concludes something.
im growing old and cranky, which means only one thing.
its time to buy a walking stick and a wheelchair.
BAHH. humbug >:S

♥

7/30/2009 03:39:00 PM

the feeling of death so close yet so far.

the error is finally gone from my com :] found many awesome pics on heechul's cyworld but cant save it D: so kinda print screened it into photo shop

bahh. still feeling a little dizzy and weak. i cant afford to miss school tomorrow. ive already missed 3 tests and got lots to catch up with. somehow my condition got worst yesterday, but finally able to walk and stand up today. sigh. really owe a big thanks to my friends for the sms-es and calls, thank youuu! :D bahhh. theres red cross now and im at home posting this D: bahh. wonder how today's full dress rehearsal went :]

i felt like i was about to die.
my vision was blur,
my head hurt like hell,
every part of me ached like crazy.
i couldnt even sit up.
i couldnt even open the bottle cap.
everytime i tried to call for help, no one could hear me.
i felt so weak that i couldnt even speak or move.
my whole body felt both hot and cold.
neither could i even walk straight
nor could i stand up straight.
the feeling of being sick sucks.

am i that big a disgrace to the family.

♥

7/22/2009 10:51:00 PM

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

somehow i wonder. how much further i can take before that dagger you just jabbed into my back, reaches my heart.

shouldnt be on the com but got to charge my phone since my wire broke a few months back. arghh.

really annoyed. 2 tests tomorrow. havent finished studying one subject yet.. no where close to done. BAHH. sigh. somehow nothings getting in my freaking head.. and somehow after studying a certain part, i flip back to recall and i dont remember single thing.. so annoying... BAHH. nvm. motivation from linda's words. can do it. can do it.

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

wanted to post a few pics of something and one of heechul. BUT. SOMEHOW.. blogger has some error in my com. its like, all white but a box and the word " PUBLISH POST" and "SAVE NOW". really man. really? now? okay im going cranky. but still. 2 TESTS!!! BAHH.. aw man, think bout those people who just came back D: nvm lets all do this man! can one. can one.

ARGH. OKAY. BACK TO THE BOOKS. peaceee.

seriously? sometimes i even wonder how the hell you made it this far.
-
please dont judge others when you cant even judge yourself.

♥

7/20/2009 09:23:00 PM

Monday, July 20, 2009

come on man. whats wrong with wearing a dress with track shoes? :S

lets just take this as an aerobic video? nothing in this video should be taken seriously and yeah it sucks. hey! its called aerobics, man. just lovin my sis's expression :D plus owe her biggg time :D THANKS!!! :D

i just made a fool of myself havent i o.O these videos kinda summaries the process of making a video for a friend :D

[ps. the moves are pretty much wrong D: ]

a math test postponed to next tues :D lifes been tests-ish :S bah.
bio test today is finally over :D

just watched miracle and dancing on xD heechul looks damn cute and hot in both videos :D

aw man. super junior!!! please come to singapore!!! :D alrighto, so there are only 2 cities left to be confirmed D: cant find it still. bahhh. but so far, from their reviews and everything, super show 2 sounds superrr awesome!!! xD videos are already viewable on youtube :] after reading much bout ryeowook's performance of insomnia by craig david, finally managed to find the videoo!! the girl is damn extra. O.O he looks hot and sounds awesome on stage!!! a really total different side of him :D found a video of heechul's solo too, but its all pitched dark. bah. read that the lights all of a sudden just turned off and when it turned back on, he was very near the audience doing something and thats when the loud screaming in the video comes in o.O aw man. really hope they come to singapore!!! they all look so different!!!

i had an arguement with my dog, coco a few days back. weird topic though.

coco: woof!
me: ruth.
coco: woof!
me: its ruth.
coco: woth!
ruth: eh. its ruth lee.
coco: *wags tail*

managed to find heechul's cyworld :D this is his latest post he made on his birthday xD HAHA! hes damn cute :]

credits to : http://minihp.cyworld.com/pims/main/pims_main.asp?tid=53854375

"

Pi : Pihalsoo (unavoidable)... It was a love that I couldn't avoid,

that why I loved you..

A : Ahpeunehyo (it hurts)... My heart aches..

does your heart also ache when you think of me..?

No : Nonononono ha!

Ah just sayingㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

It's my birthday and there is nothing to do

so I just decided to do a 3 syllable poetryㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Don't move!! Starting right now,

any rascal/bastard who moves is the culprit!!

Ah just sayingㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I guess I'll just go watch Middle Aged Detective(-┏)

o :D

"

♥

7/14/2009 04:27:00 AM

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

you are my inspiration!!! :D

AHAH HAH HAH! HEE CHUL! :D one of my everyday motivation! :D

bahh. its like damn late right now D: got to sleep soon before i end up "kissing" my lit book again. the programme is still importing the song O.O so loong :S when my parents saw my phone's background pic of heechul they started laughing at me o.O

aw man super happy :D all thanks to dear kang ru ying! HAHAH! THANKS FOR THE SUJU MIRROR!!! its damn nice and freaking awesomeee!!! just look at it, isnt it just so inspirational? HAHAH!!! THANKS RUYING :D i owe you big time man! :] aw man really love you so much despite from the fact that you said heechul looked really ugly and looks like a girl. BUT STILL. HAHAHA! :D THANKS MAN!

aw man my phone camera's quality isnt really very good D:

alrighto. its really late, gtg. bye!!! night!!! :D

♥

7/12/2009 03:24:00 AM

Sunday, July 12, 2009

One may look good, but does he or her have a good heart?

THANKS SITI FOR THE AWESOME CD!!! xD still in love with wuss up :D HAHA!!!!

HEECHUL!!! BAHHH. i didnt manage to post happy birthday on the 10th D: youtube took super duper long to upload the video o.O made a tribute for him :D its not really very good and there are seriously so many more better than mine which totally rocks :D but it feels awesome contributing to the large number of heechul tributes on youtube, hahah! sorry, kinda going crazy :S fell asleep on the floor while waiting for youtube to finish uploading it, so didnt managed to post. bahh. super annoying >:S didnt really get to spend it very happily despite waiting super long for that special day :S kinda starting all my posts with his pics, hahah! heechuls super poor thing :S plus hes super cute and hot, HAHA! :D seriously got to admit he looks damn good in a cheongsam, HAHA! totally addicted to gee by girls' generation after watching him dancing and lipsyncing in a cheongsam, HAHA! he looks super good! somehow looks pretty familiar o.O along with his "BABO"s! HAHA! along with sungming, eunhyuk and kangin too! xD HAHAH! they were are really awesome! SUJU FIGHTING! :D

well for now, its jie and isabel s' brithday!!! HAHAH! :D happy birthday man! :D

isabel!!! hope you had an awesome time at the cosplay man!!! remember our deal bout the end of they year!!! :D hahah!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEECHUL, ISABEL AND JIE!!! :]

also made a tribute for my sis for being so awesome for the past 15 years of my life :D but its presently taking a super long to be uploaded on youtube O.O

aw man you guys got to check this out xD its super duper cute! :D plus after today, lets save energy man! HAHA!

heechul's tribute

[ i chose this song "Dont Go Away" by Super Junior T cause this was the song they sang when heechul made his comeback after removing the metal rods from the accident a few years back,so kinda feel that thing song holds more meaning behind this awesome song :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEEBUM!!! :D ]

reasons why im seriously in love with heechul :D [ the dressing up and dancing is just so awesome xD ]

not today.

♥

7/11/2009 06:22:00 AM

Saturday, July 11, 2009

bahhhh

♥

7/09/2009 11:26:00 PM

Thursday, July 9, 2009

heechul's birthday is around half an hour plus more minutes!!!! :D plannin to upload his tribute on youtube at 11.45 :D aw man o.O shall continuing posting later, e math file! bahh.

♥

7/08/2009 01:03:00 AM

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

are you done with your false interpretations and lies? cause its starting to get annoying.

heechul's birthday is comin up :]
oh my goshhh, ariel!!! thanks so much for the heechul's birthday's birthday present collage man!!! couldnt stop staring at it xD hehe!

theres seriously something wrong with my timings. my brain works as if the day is the night and the night is the day >:S bahh. even when i turn on my alarm clock, wait no. not just one alarm about 5? i still dont hear it. bahh. or maybe someones just switching it off.. sigh.

my ear piece broke today D: soo cant really listen to both sides but just one vocal singing in one side but the other side is just "pfftsszzzsszzs" :S tomorrows emath. arghh. super scared and totally not prepared for it.

a feather was gently being blown in the wind.
blowing across the window of a pale white room.
the room was cold as little sunlight shone in.
loud beeps broke the silence
as it went in a rhythmic pattern surrounding the room.
suddenly the beeps started to become faster and faster.
people in white ran into the room with a look of anxiety on their faces.
doing everything they could to save a life.
everything they learnt over the years tested in these few minutes, seconds.
at the end,
the feather reached the ground.

the more i hold on. the more its gonna hurt.
the more i smile, the more my mind lets my imagination run wild.

slowly facing my last day with a dying heart.

♥

7/05/2009 04:45:00 AM

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The real magic of love is that, for a short period of time, it blinds two people to the pain it will surely cause.
- quoted from Tampa Burn

hello!!! somehow my posts are starting to be all bout super junior and hee chul O.O HAHAH! with the addition of many pictures to go along with the posts xD well.. lets start off from a happier start yeah? :] i found this post as a must post kinda post :]

HAHAH! love this pic xD sungmin and ryeowook look super cute with the hats xD plus just noticed something bout it :] hee chul is actually levatating a rose between his hands, HAHHA! SO COOL! :D really think that the pic is damn cute :D

there are two hee chul commercials that are seriously damn funny :D and super cute!!! :D

hee chul is really an awesome guy :D sadly hes in korea D: heh. but still! is seriously one who is worth looking up to and loving :D he has really gone through so much in life and stay really loyal to those around him. i really admire him to the max :] after watching this video below. i really learnt a lot more bout him and really felt like crying after finding out what he did. hes really poor thing and an awesome person :]

true many people may not see him this way but. he really is a hero in this world. really. what he did for his friends is really respectable.

heres the story.

on august 10 2006, hee chul was on his way from donghae's (another member of super junior) father's funeral and got into a car accident. he fractured 5 places of his leg along with many other injuries. in the hospital, many female nurses went up to him saying "oh hes hee chul!" and started taking pictures with cameras along with the press coming along to take more photos and videos. despite his condition being very serious, he bit his tongue so hard that it needed stiches and was not able to talk for a whole week as he was afriad of fainting infront of the cameras D:

the surgery lasted for 6 hours and metals rods had to be inserted into his leg D: thats why he could not dance (despite his really good dancing) during a period of time but the rods were removed quite recently :D really cant believe what the nurses did to him then. sigh.

he spent a month in the hospital and removed the first rod in october 2006 and while the last one had to stay till 2008. Luckily Heechul wore a seatbelt that night. After a few months, he made his comeback standing on a platform. [ the video showed the performance of his comeback along with hankyung's expression of happyness for him and it was seriously touching ]

gonna start quoting from the video ( which is seriously a must and worth watching. its damn touching )

"
Behind the witty princess is someone who would always stand up for those close to him, ready to drop his idol image in order to be by their side.

" Heechul: I know i show alot of insolent side.. but in real life im actually quite polite. and before being the celebrity kim heechul, i first work hard in being kim heechul, the human being. "

When a few students swore to Hankyung ( heechul's friend and fellow suju member) in chinese, he got so angry that he forgot his idol image and asked the fans to tell him where the students had gone..

" Heechul: but he's living alone in a forgeign country and such a nice friend too... it made me so angry that they did that, just because he's a foreigner. it made me so angry..so.. slap. "

When Suju was first formed, heechul worried for the leader.

" Heechul: today, jungosoo (eeteuk's real name) hyung has collapsed due to exhaustion again. "

Heechul wrote that he had been watching over Eeteuk, who had fallen asleep on top of a metal box, afraid that he would fall over.

" Heechul: We are their hyungs ( what a guy calls an older guy. Eeteuk is the oldest member, closely followed by heechul) But I only have you as my hyung "

When Yunho from DBSK was once poisoned by an anti-fan, heechul once again dropped his image and wrote his heart out online

" Heechul:They said it was an "injury" Not "attempted murder"..? Then.. Will they mosaic this garbage's face to protect her identity?

I dislike studying the most and dont know anything about the law.. but.. I know what is right and wrong.

If youre Yunho's anti, then you probably come here too? Are you reading this? What? Why dont you bring a Super Glue drink to me, too? Bring it.. I'll catch you.

I hope his shithead gets caught, please get caught..

But I didnt just curse..
I even prayed. "

The anti-fan read this entry and wrote back to him, threatening not him, but his friends. heechul had to remove his long entry from the internet.

"I apologise for my rough way of talking..
However..
I'm also a human being."

During Suju's debut, a law forced chinese member Hankyung to wear a mask, not allowed to show his face on tv.

After 2-3 months of Hankyung's suffer, Heechul suddenly pushed him to the front of the stage..

"It's okay, it's okay"

Telling Hankyung not to worry, Heechul then crossed the law and removed the mask.

[Note: this has been confirmed by hankyung in a chinese interview]

To quote him again (from the entry on Yunho)

"dont know anything about the law.. But.. I know what is right and wrong.."

"
[pic of him and hankyung]

i love you heechul!!! :D

♥

7/04/2009 05:15:00 PM

Saturday, July 4, 2009

i will. maybe not today, maybe no tomorrow, maybe not the day after tomorrow. but i will. eventually.

hellooo!!! :D the weeks finally over :] this whole week have been pretty hectic and busy :S the months gonna be pretty busy for us all D: bahh. have been wanting to post this post since yesterday but blogger had some errors with the uploading of pics :S bahh. finally able to after using my sis's laptop :D

photoshopped pics for ariel for the celebration of her husband etteuk's birthday which was a few days back on the 1st july :D apologise for my bad photoshopping D: but still... HAPPY BIRTHDAY EETUEK :D

HEE CHUL!!! dont really care that he kissed si won and sungmin on the lips during the concert, hes still the lovee :D HAHA! plus hes not gay :] its just called fann service xD HAHA! plus its super cute how he sticks his tongue out after every kiss with that mischievous look on his face :D do you know that he refused a kissing scene in his drama so that he could leave his kiss for his wife :D HAHA! so sweet!!! xD but hes quite poor thing D: just read up that at the end of Don't don, the screaming of "SUPER JUNIOR" was by him. after many performances and practices, he noticed he started to cough out blood after screaming especially after singing throughout the whole song. so after every concert or practice they do dont don, he would be coughing out blood :S

he looks damn tired in this pic D: *psst* notice something red? and cross-ish? xD AHAH!

His cat record :D -quoted from a website-
Yamchae – Gift from fans; He got him in mid-July 2005 and Yamchae ran away in early November 2005 so Heechul didn’t have him even 4 months. Heechul was away filming for a few days and wasn’t told that Yamchae ran away until he got back to the apartment and the members told him.
Chae Che – Gift from fans; He got him in mid January 2006 and had to give him back almost immediately. The cat was already sickly to begin with and it was a time when Heechul was doing the radio show, Rainbow Romance, appearing on a lot of variety shows, getting ready to film Bad Family, etc. so he didn’t have time to take care of him and also he just wasn’t ready to have another cat since it had only been a couple of months since Yamchae ran away and he was still hoping that he would come back.
Heebum – Gift from fans; He got him in November 2006 to the present.

come on man! he is just so crazy and hyper even to an extent that he shaved his cat O.O but still that makes him so lovable :] he may be bold and sharp tongued, but hes awesome at heart, with young kids and animals :D HAHA! hes superr cute larh :]

ryeowook looks damn cool in this pic :D HAHAH!!! siti!!! *hint hint*

reasons why i love hee chul :D

1. He is superr nice to animals!!!
[ his cat heebum!!! is super cute!!! cant believe hee chul shaved it though O.O plus the cat just lets him carry him everywhere he goes, hahah!]